Free Tilly: how an irrational fear turned me into an activist

So, I have probably mentioned a time or two on the blog about my fears. I have only a few great fears in my life, most of them have to do with animals. A lot of times when I tell people I am afraid of snakes, they nod in agreement, or at least sympathize.

When I tell them I am afraid of cats, they scratch their heads but eventually understand- afterall a lot of people are. But it's the third animal that I have a phobia of that often has people rolling on the floor laughing about. I admit, it is a bizarre animal to be afraid of, and not often something people understand.

The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of killer whales. It's sad but true. Last year just driving down the street and seeing a giant Seaworld billboard featuring Shamu sent me into hyperventilation mode, and my husband into hysterical laughter. I mean really, who is afraid of killer whales?

I can trace my fear back to an unfortunate visit to Sea World Orlando I had with my dad and grandpa at age 5. During a shamu show, one of the whales got out of control and had a "run in" with a trainer. I can remember my dad covering my eyes and potatoe sacking me out of the stadium.

Recently I got to talking with my brother about this fear and he looked up all of the instances a killer whale has had an "incident" with a trainer. It's astounding really the amount of them. However, he was quick to point out that there was never any documented proof that orcas have ever attacked a human in the wild. To which I sarcastically countered with "Yeah, because there probably weren't any survivors to come back and document." Okay I admit, perhaps that is too far. Maybe I should give them a little more credit than that.

Recently, the documentary Blackfish has shed some light on the current problem of orcas attacking trainers. Specifically, 33-year-old Tilikum who has been involved in at least 3 deaths. Tilikum is literally my nightmare. What I can't figure out is how in the heck after that many documented attacks they thought it a good idea to collect his sperm and use his DNA to fill their orca population quota? Do they not think that more incidences will occur with genes like that?

While some refute Blackfish and label it as useless slander, it's difficult to argue with that much evidence of dangerous encounters. Yes they are wild animals, yes proper precautions aren't always carried out. But some instances, like Dawn Brancheau, the attacks are completely unwarranted.

After seeing the film, I began to become killer whale crazy. An odd, discomforting desire to research and understand came over me. I began to research an organization I have only rolled my eyes at; PETA. Interesting fact: there are several PETA activists who serve on the board for Sea World, in efforts to change some of it's animal handling practices.

PETA, an organization known for extreme and sometimes ridiculous measures to get their point across, are taking a surprisingly ethical approach to the whole Sea World craze. Instead of wanting to "Free Willy" (bypassing a failed Keiko the whale experiment), they simply ask that Sea World move it's facilities to the coasts where the animals can live in natural water enclosures. It's true that most of the animals born into captivity would not be able to function if set free. But being able to experience the ocean and it's elements would at least give these animals a very very small taste of what their original habitats are like. Perhaps it would allow orcas to not be so violent towards humans, and each other.

And so, after a lifetime of fearing, loathing and generally having a large distaste for killer whales, I have found myself becoming an activist for them. What? How did this happen? How did I become pro-PETA? I have to say it's because of an animal, Tilikum, who both terrifies and intrigues me.

A Happy Life

                 To live with purpose,
                 To say the courageous thing,
                 To celebrate the simple gift,
                 To follow your dreams.
                 This is a happy life.
                                  -Wayland Henry

This was the quote on the front cover of one of the most moving birthday cards I have ever received, given to me tonight in one of the most peculiar and wonderful ways by a completely anonymous person.

So tomorrow is my 31st birthday. Normally, I love birthdays and look forward to mine starting the day after Christmas. But there was something about this year that was the first time I was actually quite dreading it. Sure, nobody loves turning older (unless you're 6). But that wasn't it really. This would be the first year I turned older without my dad singing me a birthday tune in his pavorotti voice at an insane hour in the morning. It was like I was moving on, growing older without him and it left me with a lump in my throat everytime I thought about it.

Of course it's also February, which meant the car registration and a renewal on my license and just like that... boom.... no money to even celebrate with. It was looking kind of grim and I spent the entire week in prayer about it. I prayed for peace about it, I prayed for God's provision financially, using a specific sum (that was seriously like asking for a million dollars). But I also prayed that in some way, with my earthly daddy not here to tell me he loved me, that God himself would tell me. That I would just know that He loved me, and that He was with me. And one night he distinctly said, "Erin... be still and know that I am God."

So, I was still. I prayed, and I cried and I praised Him and I watched as the days slowly drifted towards my birthday. Tonight, my family decided to leave our home around 7pm. We packed ourselves in the car and took off. About 15 minutes into our ride, I saw a strange phone number calling me. I didn't recognize it and thought it might be a person from Craigslist, so I let it go to voicemail. When I checked the message, it was a man (disguising his voice) telling me that there was a package on my front porch. Now, I don't know about you, but usually when someone tells you that, you start to think about bombs and terrorists. But I also thought that it was the night before my birthday so maybe, just maybe it actually WAS a package?

We came home later that evening and went to the front porch to check. Sure enough there was a small Anthropologie gift bag. I opened up the nicely ordained giftbag to find a sealed card. It was a beautiful card really, with the most amazing poem. It spoke right to the heart of me, like those words were God speaking. And inside the card there were no written words at all and only a Happy Birthday printed on the inside. And there it sat, the EXACT amount of money I had prayed for this month.

I bawled, I sobbed, I ugly cried and I thanked God. How could this person have even known it was my birthday? How could they have known that I wouldn't, I couldn't possibly accept money from someone I knew? But mostly, how could they know that right then, that night what I really and truly needed to know, was that I was loved? Really loved?

Dear "Anthropologie" I'm calling you that because I have no other name to call you. I have no idea who you are, and I know you went to great lengths to keep it that way. But I just wanted you to know that I have never felt so entirely loved by a stranger before in my life. I so appreciated your words to me, your encouragement, and your support. I felt them. And I felt God through them. I could literally feel that big God bear hug I was so longing for on my birthday. I wish there was a way for you to know just how much that meant to me. And so, this is the only way I know how to tell you thank you. I hope you read this, and that everyone who does read this knows that once again, God is CRAZY CRAZY just so very CRAZY AMAZING. I've said it before, and I will say it to the end of my days. Thank you Anthropologie, for making this one of the most amazing birthdays of my life.
Yours, ever so sincerely,
Erin

A New York State Of Mind

 Sometimes in life, crazy things can happen.

2 years ago, I randomly got the opportunity to write for a website called: hollywoodjesus.com. It started out just writing reviews for the music section. I would write up my opinions and viewpoints and in return I would be able to keep up on current music, and feed my itunes addiction. I took the job and said, "you never know what it can lead to."

I enjoyed writing reviews, and also worked on my book in my spare time. But then, one day last spring I was offered the opportunity to go on a press junket with the website for the movie, "The Lucky One" starring Zach Efron.
It was a crazy ride going to L.A. and interviewing celebrities. I enjoyed the experience, and saw it for what it was: A Once In a Lifetime Event. I returned to my normal life, just happy to have had the chance at something new. Cut to October when I got another chance to take an incredible trip to New York to visit the set of the new movie Noah, starring Russel Crowe.

I had to pinch myself several times. And I kept thinking, how did this happen? One day I was wiping butts and cleaning dirty dishes, the next, I was jetting off to New York, and dining with movie executives atop the Trump Tower. I couldn't believe how far the Lord had taken a small opportunity.

I was able to visit the most fantastic set in Brooklyn. Where, in an armory, they transformed an empty space into a life-sized ark. The visit was incredible, and I cannot wait to publish what I've written about it. I also got to meet Russel Crowe, who was incredibly friendly even after working a grueling schedule. It was truly an incredible experience.

I admit, I only have a few things on my bucket list. One of those things, was visiting New York in the fall. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be able to do something like that so soon. I joined 2 of my newly-made writing friends on a New York excursion. We took a taxi and hit up Times Square, Broadway, Juniors, and Rockefeller Center. I was able to see things I had always wanted to see in a span of 4 hours, and it was life-changing!

We stayed in the soho district and I found myself just walking the streets that last morning, taking in the scenery and reflecting on the wild adventure I had taken. There is something so freeing, so empowering about going to a big city by yourself. It makes you more confident in yourself. I wasn't Elijah's mom, or Tim's wife, or anything but just Erin Warkentin, writer. It felt so good to own an identity; to have people see me for exactly who I am, and listen to my opinions because they mattered.

I've always loved to write, but I never dreamed it would take me anywhere. This New York trip  taught me a lot about taking the opportunities God gives us. You just never know where they can take you!

And sometimes God uses iphones

I admit it, I am that grouchy lady in church who growls at the people who pull out their IPHONES and use them as a substitute bible. It has always bothered me. Which is why it came as a complete shock that I actually used my bible app this week. I just recently purchased an iphone 3Gs. I know, how dare I purchase the older, non high-tech version? But it was cost-effective and I really wanted an iphone. I downloaded the classics like Angry birds, and tried a few new ones for recipes, a nice little GPS app, I was all set. Then, because I am a christian and it seemed fairly un-christian-like (is that a word?) to NOT download the bible, I caved and did.

BACKSTORY:

So, I have had a really tough time doing my devotions lately. I mean, during the day I try really hard to sit and read a chapter or two, while I put the boys in front of the tv and the baby down for a nap. My prayers always seem to sound something like, "Dear God, please speak to me in the 3 1/2 minutes I can get uninterrupted to read this passage of scripture." Sometimes it works, sometimes I have to stop everything and break up a boy fight.

CUT TO LAST WEEK:
I was feeding the baby and browsing through apps and came acrossed the bible app. The boys were outside, and it was somewhat quiet, so I thought I'd take a gander. That's when I discovered a very cool "recorded" feature, where a nice man reads each passage to you. Since Olivia's constant need for spoonfuls of food was distracting me from reading, I tried listening. Ofcourse, I hit the King James Version and some british dude started talking, which totally distracted me because I got to thinking about how strange it is that most movies depict Jesus having a British accent. And I quickly had to change the version to something with an American accent.

And as I sat there, watching the boys through the sliding glass doors, feeding my baby, sitting in my pajamas, the Lord spoke to me through an iphone app. Call me crazy, maybe a little bit of a hypocrit, but I actually got something out of a morning devotion I heard through a telephone. How strangely fascinating.

The Flan of a lifetime

So, it's no secret that I am rounding the end of my 20's. Even young people have bucket lists and mine is to go to Disneyland. I know it sounds CRAZY. But I've never been. Sure, my parents took me to Disneyworld when I was 6 months old. They tell me all I did was sleep. I'm pretty sure that doesn't count as actually going to Disney.

Ever since I met Tim, he's been trying to move heaven and earth to get us there. Constantly plotting, scheming and devising ways to make my dreams come true. That's when I came up with the term "Flanning". To Flan is to make a fake plan. You look at airline tickets, and hotels, you talk about the cost of gas, you rent vacation package DVD's and you do everything but hit the BUY button.

Then, things happen. Like: You spend all your honeymoon money on a scam and never get it back or you move across the country, you find out you're pregnant, or you have to buy a new minivan, or your drier and your dishwasher break at the same time. And somehow, one year, bleeds into three years, which doubles into 6 years. And before you know it, you've been Flanning for ten years and you've never done anything about it.

This year, we decided that 2011 was the year of Disney! Meaning: No more flanning, no more things getting in the way. It was going to be me and him and nothing but Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Buzz and Woody! We have a date on the calendar, and we have a date tonight to actually click the BUY button..for the first time EVER. I wish I could describe in words what this means to me. How amazing it feels, and how badly I need it. I think I'm gonna cry everytime I take a picture with a character, or go on a ride I've only seen in a commercial. Pretty much every picture of me is gonna be crying. But I don't care. It's time for this 29-year-old to slip back into her 4-year-old shoes and live the dream that childhood forgot.

So Disney- I hope you're ready for me... cause here I COME!

Black Friday: Amazing deals or 4th circle of hell?

According to Dante, the 4th circle of hell is for GREED. If you were in Walmart at 12:01am Friday morning, you would understand his philosophy. So how did I end up being a part of the Black Friday chaos? Interesting story...

I had been talking about doing a Black Friday run for weeks, but as the day got closer, and I started to see just how much of a sacrifice of sleep I would have to make, I began to second guess that decision. Fast forward to Thanksgiving night, we had finally put the kids to bed and I was in the middle of a clusterfeed session with the baby when I DECIDED once and for all that I needed my sleep. A few hours later, Tim informed me that we were in fact out of TUMS and WIPES. And in our house, those 2 things are essential to living. So I reluctantly decided to make a quick trip to our 24 hour Walmart to pick up those few neccessities.

In my pajamas and some boots I jumped in my car thinking that the sales at Walmart wouldn't start until 5am, so it shouldn't be too crowded. And that's when I entered the parking lot and saw the chaos of a 12am sale.

As I entered the building I saw just what a grave mistake I had made joining the crowds at midnight. There were aisles and aisles filled with toys and snuggies and giant body pillows. And the people, oh the people. I soon realized that there was safety in numbers and I was alone. I quickly set my sights on a pair of 12-year-olds who were recklessly driving a cart filled to the gills with sale items. As they crashed into people and bullied their way through the massive crowds, I stood silently behind them and used their bodies as buffers.

The electronics department, which was the site of the 5am sale, was filled with people camped out on the floor. Each one had their DVD's, cameras, and big screen TV's in-hand waiting the 5 long hours it took to get "the deal". Most sat listening to their ipods and playing card games, sprawled out with blankets. I half expected there to be a campfire and a bearded hippy playing "Michael row your boat ashore."

Then I entered the clothing section where women of all shapes and sizes were literally tossing clothes in the air trying to find their respective sizes and colors. I was stuck in total gridlock for about 7 minutes. NUTS! All for $4 walmart pajamas.

Ofcourse, I found a few good deals that I simply couldn't pass up. Afterall, I did drive all the way out there I might as well take advantage of the situation. But I have to say that taking your life into your own hands is hardly worth the extra $15-$20 you could save on items. At least not to me anyway.

A bathroom tale

I just had to share this hilarious story I read:

Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom,
I stopped at a rest area and headed to the restroom.


I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying:
"Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and I don't know what got into me,
But I answered, somewhat embarrassed,
"Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says:
"So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say:
"Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"?

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question.
"Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation.. I tell them
"No..I'm a little busy right now!"

Then I hear the person say nervously...
"Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions "

The Strangest Coincidence

If you know me, it is no huge surprise that my wedding day was not picturesque. The stories that have come from that day have lived in infamy in my home. But the strangest story was only just discovered today...5 1/2 years later.

I was finally getting around to scanning my wedding pictures when I came across a familiar face in a crowd of people. Now most would find that normal at a wedding, but because my wedding was so far away it was FILLED with people I did not know, so it was odd to me to see a now very familiar face.

To really get the irony of this picture, I have to explain the backstory:

During my time in Georgia I worked at a small post office. I was trained by a very pregnant girl named Meagan. She was nice and as we traded stories, I realized that our families knew eachother. I took over her job, she had a baby and we didn't see eachother again. Then, after moving to California, by chance we became friends on facebook.

Over the course of several years we became really good friends. We found that we had a TON in common and were bummed that we only discovered this fact AFTER I had moved 3000 miles away.

Fast forward to today, when I was so surprised to see her face in one of my wedding pictures. At the time, she was a total and complete stranger to me. I asked her about it and she sheepishly responded. She had confessed that she had indeed attended my wedding, and remembered it quite vividly. How funny. She was so embarrassed that she had crashed it and was so apologetic. Especially since, it was not a day I like to remember.

I just told her that she got to be a part of a very small group of friends that DID attend my wedding. She just wasn't my friend at the time.

What were the odds?

When God reads your blog: A Crazy Amazing Story

3 weeks ago I wrote a blog. In it, I expressed 2 very serious needs. At the end of the blog, I wrote this: "I am writing this blog to keep an accurate record of our lives, and
God's goodness in them. I don't know what the future holds, but what I
do know is that someday in the near future, I will be able to write a blog that says "God paid our hospital bills and gave us a new car!"

Just you wait, My God is good and He will take most excellent care of us. He is Crazy Amazing!"

For the last 7 months I have been praying for a new car. Praying, knowing I had absolutely NO MONEY to buy a new car. Praying, knowing there was no reason that I should be so blessed. Praying anyway.

Over the last few weeks, the temperature, and the pressure took me to a breaking point. My prayers became more desperate, and much more specific.

I asked the Lord to give us a car with less than 100,000 miles on it, that had air conditioning that the boys could fit into. And then, I prayed that God would drop it out of the sky.

It's hard to even write what happened next, I am still in shock really. On Wednesday of this week, I got a surprising email. A friend of mine from college said she had a 2001 Nissan Sentra just sitting around at her house and she wanted to know if I would be interested in having it..... for free!

She then explained that it had 80,000 miles on it, air conditioning, and ... you guessed it, enough room for the boys. To top it all off, she offered to drive it to Redding. God, quite literally DROPPED IT FROM THE SKY!


Times are tough right now in our country. I don't know if you have lost a job, or can't pay your mortgage, or if you're in a financial pinch. But I encourage you, wherever you are in your life to Call upon the Name of the Lord. Have faith and believe that He can do the IMPOSSIBLE. And then..... ask Him to. He loves his children and he is faithful to them. I've said it before and I will say it again "Our God is Crazy Amazing"

Deuteronomy 7:9 "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands."

Lord of the Flies

I feel like flies have been the theme of this summer; the constant battle between me and them has been a part of each of these hot days. I am the fly killer in my house, not because I am particularily good at it, but because nobody seems to mind them as much as I do. Gone are the days of chivalry I guess.

Today was a particularily rough day as Eli threw up most of the morning, and Noah has the sniffles. I did about 4 loads of laundry, was puked on several times, and have been cleaning little messes all day. Fast forward to this afternoon when I went into Eli's room to change his diaper.

Before I go on, I must divulge that there is a garbage war in our house. It is a constant fight over taking the trash out. It isn't my job, so I try not to do it. But the trash taker-outer has figured out that if it sits long enough, I will get so tired of looking at it that I will throw it out. Again, I try desperately not to do this. So back to today.

I was changing Elijah's diaper and added it to the brimming and overflowing trash in his garbage can. I panned to his wall, and I saw 4 small flies near it. Gross, I thought. Then I scanned to the next wall, 8 flies. Sick, I thought. Then I scan to the next wall, 5 more flies. Nasty, nasty, nasty! So I locked me and Eli in his room that now smells like a toilet due to the 111 degree weather plus the disgusting garbage that hasn't been taken out.

There I spent 30 minutes chasing masses of flies around his small room. Whacking, and groaning, it sounded more like a tennis match then a firing squad. All the while, Elijah just sat and laughed hysterically, falling over at how funny mommy was huffing and puffing. There were so many fly carcuses on the floor that I had to vaccuum them up. And when I finally took the trash out and vaccummed his room, I found 4 more flies. How do they do that?

An hour later, I am now covered in bug guts, baby poop and puke and ofcourse, my own sweat. All over a garbage war. I am sooooo getting a pedicure.

Arguably the best birthday present ever

So yesterday was my birthday, and Tim took me out on a romantic date to celebrate. What happened that night was something I will remember for the rest of my life.

BACKSTORY: To accurately get why this night meant so much to me, I have to rewind and tell you that I am 6 months pregnant and we have had the toughest time coming up with a name for our baby boy. You see I have had my heart set on a name for some time now, but Tim didn't like it. It was really hard for me not to want that name, but I let it go so that we could agree on one. But after months of not being able to agree, it was beginning to wear on me.

FASTFORWARD TO LAST NIGHT:

Tim took me to C.R. Gibbs and we had just ordered a shrimp bowl to share. He asked me if I wanted to open my birthday present. I ofcourse said yes, and he slid a card over to me. The card was sweet, and left me a bit teary. Then there was a folded letter inside the card. I opened the top flap and it read:

Happy Birthday Erin. I didn't get you a birthday present this year. I could have gotten you some scrapbook stuff, or a transmitter for your ipod  but I wanted to get you something more meaningful. So this year I  am giving you......

And then I opened the bottom flap which read:

the name of our son.

After months of debate, he finally decided that the name I liked so much for our son, would be his name. I bawled like a baby and squealed with delight. I think our waiter thought we got engaged because he halted our food to give us time. No doubt he saw my enormous belly and thought to himself, "It's about time he makes a proper woman out of her."

But it was just the sweetest and best gift I could have gotten. I couldn't imagine our son having a different name, and believe me I tried. And now, I will always have this wonderful story to tell him about how we came up with his name. We still haven't decided on a middle name, so I will save his name announcement for another blog. But I just had to gush over how wonderful my husband was, and the best present I have ever received from him!

A Very Duggar Blog

Okay, so you knew I was going to have to write a blog about this at some point. I am sure by now, you are probably all-too-familiar with the over-publicized, ever-growing Duggar family. The story of Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar and their 18 kids. I have to admit, I do watch the show. I think it is sort of like driving by a train-wreck that you just have to stop and look at.

Don't get me wrong, I fully believe in raising a family with Christian values, and instilling modesty and character in children. However, I feel differently about the WAY the Duggars choose to do it. Many an evening you can find me yelling at my TV screen, or shaking my head in disbelief at some of their practices.

I was really shaking my head last night when I decided to tune in and watch A Very Duggar Wedding. It was the story of their oldest son; Joshua who at a mere 20 years old got married to a girl he had only met a few times at a homeschool convention (holding back my sarcasm). With only a few heavily supervised dates, and a strict no-kissing policy, they took the plunge and made a life-long commitment to one another.

Though I found their commitment to not kiss until their wedding day sweet (and a familiar practice among believers) it seemed to have made the anticipation of the day even more intense. The sexual tension played a HUGE role in their day, and I felt almost took away from the lifelong commitment they had made to one another. Growing up in the christian community, I have seen many people make the commitment to save themselves for marriage, as is God's plan for that union. But in anticipation for that sexual intimacy, young believers often make the commitment to marry too soon, and for the wrong reasons, which has unfortunately led to a high divorce rate.

Watching antsy Josh Duggar salivate over his young bride made me wonder if he really was ready for the responsibility that came with marriage, and not just the perks. What also made me cringe a bit was what they put in their wedding vows. A commitment to God and to eachother to let him choose the timing and how many children they would have. Again, do not misunderstand me, I firmly believe in God choosing the timing of our children. The child that I am currently carrying in my belly is a firm testament to that fact. However, I believe that God can choose when he wants a child to be born regardless of what means we take to prevent it, and therefore see no reason to not be responsible sexually.

This commitment that they put in their vows, and that the Duggar parents not only share but instill in their children does not seem to be a very healthy one. And can really put a strain on a marriage, especially a young marriage, when it is unneccessary.

Otherwise, the wedding seemed sweet and very traditional. The no-drinking, no-dancing rules that they placed on the event were pretty stereotypical. I mean heck, my wedding had those rules too. But it was the explanation they gave for those rules that made me chuckle, and wag my finger at.

When asked why the no drinking at the reception, the bride's father explained, "When Jesus was at the wedding and turned water into wine, it wasn't really wine, it was just grape juice". Hmmm.... I don't think re-writing scripture is something we should really be promoting, particularily on national television. Though, I can see how perhaps the apostles would have had to rewrite that story "Jesus turns the water into grape juice" doesn't exactly have the same ring to it.

I was not dissappointed in my decision to watch the show last night as it gave me great blogging material. I wish Josh and Anna all the best and hope that they can live up to the commitment they made to one another at such a young age.

Tales from Georgia: on soul food and sonograms

Here I am again, just looking back on the last 24 hours. My Aunt Kay took me to my favorite southern restaurant: Shirley's sole food. From the outside, it pretty much looks like an old broken down building. The inside isn't much nicer really, but the food is to die for.

As you walk in, you're greeted by old spiritual songs on the intercom system. Friendly faces ask you if they can refill your glass of ice tea, and while you wait for them to finish pouring they tell you about how they found Jesus and ask you if you are born again. It's a neat little place really and it feels a lot like entering a wardrobe into a southern kind of Narnia.

With foods like fried catfish and cabbage salad, you wouldn't think the food sounded even edible. But it really is something to be had. And as I sat eating the last bite of cornbread I was oddly sad to leave that place and enter the real world again.


Then it was off to a wonderful evening with my friend Bethany. It's a strange kind of experience: giving birth. You never know how you will make it out alive at the time, or who you will meet during the process. But it is just such an event that led to me becoming good friends with my midwife Bethany. We had a lovely evening of Mexican food and catching up. We shared our passions for scrapbooking and babies and caught up with everything we had missed in the last year. She then offered to let me see my baby on the sonogram machine., and I gladly accepted.

Having a friend put that squishy goop on my belly and find my angel baby on the screen was a great experience, one I am glad I got to share with her. We were glad to find at least one arm that had 2 bones in it and five fingers on it. You cannot know what a relief that is. And I finally found out the sex of my baby!!

All in all, it was quite an eventful day and I am glad to have experienced it here in good ole' Georgia!

Tales from Georgia: on jetlag and okra

In case anyone was wondering what jetlag looked like, here it is:

After an all-too-short night of sleep (3 hours) we were off to the airplane where we got on without a hitch. Eli was pretty good on the plane, didn't really fuss at all but got fairly restless. He didn't sleep at all though, and I was tired by the time I got off the plane. The trouble with the Atlanta airport: it's HUGE and getting from one end of it to the other takes a train. Once we got there, we were greeted by some very eager grandparents, which I was thankful for.




If you live in California, you have probably never had the pleasure of experiencing fried okra. It is incredible, and oddly enough, a vegetable I have not been able to purchase in the West.

My grandmother made it for us last night and it was everything I remembered it to be. With a big tall glass of sweet tea it is something you simply cannot miss, and my grandmother makes the best there is in the south. Fortunately for me, I'm related to her so she gave me the family recipe (wink, wink). To all my fellow westerners, if you happen to find okra in the vegetable section, please tell me, there's some fried okra in it for you!

Morning Sickness Tales

Okay so I had to lighten the mood of the blog a bit, it's getting a bit "intense". So I thought I'd share a few great morning sickness tales, past and present.I have pretty much thrown up in every kind of bathroom there is, and I have grown to be quite the connissuer of toilets.

Some things I have learned:

Best Place to throw up: A hospital. Their toilets are ALWAYS clean and you don't feel weird being sick there, cause everybody is sick there.

Worst Place to throw up: Oooh this one is a toughy, there are so many awful places to throw up. But I would have to say the public restroom at any shopping center. Mostly because when you throw up near people, they think you have some sort of eating disorder and give annoyed sighs and dirty looks.

And now for 2 great stories about morning sickness. The first one happened just today. Tim took us on a family outing to Target. I didn't get very far before I had to run to the bathroom. First stall I found I checked for obvious dirtiness- yes... I found a clean stall. Unforunately for me, the lady next to me had a really bad case of diarhea. Needless to say, I got stage fright and had to plug my nose and run back out of the bathroom.

Second story- this one happened when I was pregnant with Elijah. I worked in a tiny post office with about 5 other girls. There was a bathroom there, but it was sort of in the middle of everything and was not very private. One of the girls I worked with was "as regular as could be". Each morning she would hit the bathroom with a magazine and a fair amount of haste and wouldn't return for 20 minutes. Unfortunately for me, the mornings were the height of my sickness and I quickly had to run in after she had left to throw up. When I got there, she had left some floaties in the toilet. But I didn't have time to flush it cause I was already throwing up. Gross part- the floaty + puke-filled water splashed up and sprayed me all over my face and hair. SO SICK.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed that.

Mall People

I find it most interesting to go shopping at the mall on a Thursday. Sales people are so different then.... more rude.

So I went in with my stroller and I was on a mission to find some good sales. First stop: Old Navy. I found some really great sales on little boy clothes, so I snatched them up quick, breezing past 2 employees who were supposed to be folding clothes, but were really talking about how bombed they got last night. I get to the front with my purchase and, ofcourse, am met with a smile and a, "Will you be using your Old Navy Card today?"

Me: "I don't have one, and I am not interested in one thankyou."Sales girl: "Why not? You can save 10% on your purchase today"

Me: "10% isn't really anything, and besides these clothes are already on sale"Sales girl: "I'm just saying, you can really save a lot with the Old Navy Card."

Me: "I don't think it's possible to 'save a lot' when you own a credit card. One day when you're older, you will understand that." Relentless I tell you. Meanwhile a highschool employee at the counter is literally throwing a fit about having to work this weekend because she wants to go on a trip with her friends. At this point, Elijah was looking more mature than the Old Navy girls, so I spring to another store.I think about the fact that I am almost out of body spray and procede, with caution, to Bath and Body Works.

Now I don't know how you guys play it when you get near that store, but I start to get coldsweats and an ulcer as I step through the entrance. 4.5 seconds into my journey, I am approached by a sales girl who is ready to pounce on me with the "new body spray" or some sample lotion. I keep my head forward and the stroller in between us so she can't attack me with a new God-awful lotion. "Can I help you with anything ma'am?"
"No thankyou" I reply.
"Well, what are you looking for exactly?" (Man these girls are viscously good)
"I am looking for some travel body spray, but don't worry... I found it." (They're good, but I'm better).

SIDENOTE on Bath and Bodyworks: One of the MANY jobs I have had was as a sales girl at bath and body works. The main reason I quit, besides the controlling, all-powerful manager (which I will get to in a moment) was the pushy sales. You buy 3 things, they try to get you to buy 5. You always end up coming out of there with $100 of stuff you don't really need and certainly couldn't possibly use. It made me feel gross, and I couldn't live with myself at that job. But working there, taught me all their sales tactics. So I have developed strategic maneuvres and covert ops to go around their famous pushy sales people.

BACK TO THE STORY: While I am making my speedy and stealthy move to the $3 body sprays, I come across a familiar face. My old manager. Ofcourse I look extremely different, and she is too self-involved anyway to recognize me. She flies past me, grabs the poor helpless sales girl, and says in her mall accent (which I will also get to in a second) "Yeah, Okaai I'm gonna need you to go ov'air to the food court and get me some food. I am railly staarving, so I'm gonna need you to leave like, now, Okaai?"

The sales girl rushes out of the store, and I leave with great haste as well. It sickens me how managers at stores like that think they own the universe. They get their little slave people to run personal errands for them all the time, and talk on the phone to their boyfriends. It's so pathetic. And the sad thing is, this lady is at least in her mid 30's. This is her career, and her life. It makes me sad, but also like I might throw up a little in my mouth.

SIDENOTE 2 "Mall Accents" :Now, as I mentioned before, the manager was talking in a mall accent. Has anyone ever noticed the accents people develop in the mall? Now it's not everyone, mostly just the hoity-toity sales people who work at the higher end stores. They start to talk on one side of their mouth and all of their A's end up turning to I's, like they have 2 clothes pins pinching their cheeks. It really makes them look ridiculous, but it's also quite humorous to listen to.

Anyways, I was on my way back to the parking lot, I had had enough of the Mt. Shasta mall for one day, when I strolled past Macy's. There is nothing like the overpowering scent of some overpriced perfume and the death stares of the plastic women dressed in black at the Mac counter to make you feel inferior. Everytime I walk past there I attempt to walk in, but get as far as the door before one of the plastics, like a bouncer at a club, looks my "mom outfit" up and down and rolls their eyes at me. Like you have to be on the cover of US weekly to be able to shop at Macy's.
S
o, defeated once again, I slump down and slowly walk to the exit. But as I do, I hear one of the plastics say to a customer, "Wiiow, thait eyeshaidow looks faaaaaabulous on you." And somehow, hearing her ridiculous mall accent makes me feel better. Maybe I don't wear all black and have perfect hair and makeup, but at least I talk like a human.
Another successful shopping trip at the mall on a weekday. Successful because we survived it.

A priceless day at candlestick park

So yesterday was a big day for the Warkentins. It was the day we went to our first 49ers game. Tim has been a niners fan since he was a baby (it runs in Warkentin blood.) Anyways, he has always talked about one day going to a game, but he never actually has. It's been a rough couple years for our family, and for the 49ers for that matter. They've lost, and he's been in Georgia so he didn't get to watch them lose. Which seemed fine to me, why watch a team lose all season? But he obviously was shaken up by it. So I promised him one day when we moved to California I would take him to a game. Fast forward 4 years, and an ebay attempt (see my EBAY BLOG for the full story). I finally got the tickets and we packed up and went to the niners opening game yesterday. This is an account of our trip:

"Tailgate Party: Warkentin style "
We arrived with only a few moments till kick off, and several blocks to walk. So we opted to make our sandwhich tailgate party short and walk while eating. *Note: walking while eating a peanut-butter and banana sandwhich is not a good idea. I choked.


"Our View, well sort of"
Being an ebay find, the seats weren't exactly top of the line. As you can tell by the giant Simoan guy that was in our way the entire game. In fact there were about 10 guys standing in the aisles, yelling loudly throughout the game. Which brings me to my next point.

"Alcohol and you"
Alright you got me, this isn't a picture of some random dude drinking alcohol. It's the halftime parashooting show (which was also cool, but not blog-worthy). What is the deal with people and alcohol at sporting events? I could not believe how much people drink. I played my own drinking game: counting how many beers each guy drank throughout the day. I must admit, it was rather entertaining listening to their slurred words as they complained about a bad call, or a time out. But by the end of the day, I was ready to be done with the drunk guys.

"Meanwhile, back at the ranch"
Elijah was being watched by my friend Lauren. But he had his 49ers jersey and still paid close attention to the game via satellite. I told you, it's in Warkentin blood.

"Now here's when it gets weird"
This is where we are sitting just moments before the big brawl broke out.

"The Big Brawl"

Okay, so you knew there'd be a story in this blog somewhere. And here it is:

The thing I find fascinating about Football fans is their aggression. I've been to other sporting events, many many others but never have I seen so much rage than at a football game. Everyone is all about wearing Red on game day. It's a thing. You wear a 49ers jersey, or a cap or something to show your 49er love. Anyways, not 10 feet from where we were sitting a giant brawl broke out during a time-out. Appearantly, someone wore the wrong colored jersey and one group of guys behind him started calling him names, and throwing up gang signs because of it. It got all Jerry-Springer in a hurry. People getting in each other's faces, people taking off their shirts. It was a mess. So they called the brute squad (a series of officers) over and threw about 20 people out of the game. I must admit, it was way more interesting than the game at that point. And in between every play, I would quickly turn back my attention to the entertainment just feet away from me. NFL people are serious- don't mess with them.

.
Happy to be away from the drama
So, as you may or may not have heard, the 49ers lost. But it was still fun to be there to watch them lose. And even though I have blisters on my feet from walking so much, and my pants smell like the warm beer that one of the guys spilled all over me, it was really fun to watch Tim's face light up.

"To sum it up"

2 San Francisco 49er tickets bought on ebay= $40
1 Parking ticket=$25

Fulfilling a childhood dream= Priceless

Ebay virginity

So, I have been trying for months to get over my very real fear of ebay. It started with creating a paypal account. Then for months I just searched ebay endlessly, but was always afraid to do anything about it.

Over the last few months though, everytime I compliment someone on something they have or are wearing they always seem to say, "thanks I got it on ebay." What? Had I let my ebay phobia prohibit me from getting a once-in-a-lifetime deal? I decided I simply wouldn't let my fears paralyze me anymore.

So, I decided to take the plunge and try my hand at bidding. At first I couldn't decide what to buy. Should I get some Veggie Tales DVD's? Maybe a halloween costume? Then I had remembered a childhood dream Tim had always had of going to a 49ers game. So I checked out the ticket sales part of ebay- awesome.... lot's of tickets!

I bid, and I waited, and I screamed, and I got cold sweats and..... I lost! Drat, I really wanted to make it happen for Tim. After a few choice words at my computer screen, I turned off the lamp and went to bed.

TODAY: I woke up determined to conquer this ebay thing once and forall. I looked at baseball caps, sweatshirts.... something.... anything. Finally, out of desperation, I turned back to the 49ers tickets hoping for a miracle. I happened to see a pair of tickets up for bid for $40. I decided to watch and wait to see how high the bidding went. So I set my kitchen timer, and continued my mom duties. When the timer went off, I looked in disbelief.... no one had bid on these delightful tickets. I knew what I had to do. I took a deep breath and I clicked. 2 minutes of waiting later... I had WON!!!

So, not only am I not an ebay virgin anymore, I also get to take my husband to see his favorite NFL team at the home stadium for the first time in his life! What an awesome thing.

I guess it's true what they say.... you never forget your first time. I know I never will.

MY MIDWIFE, MY FRIEND

Ever had one of those weeks where nothing goes your way? And all you wanna do is crumple on the floor and cry? Well, that's where I was on Thursday night. On the floor crying, when my hubby brought in a package I had gotten.

I opened it up and found this:

A lovely bundle of brand new scrapbooking material. It was from my friend Bethany in Georgia. I couldn't believe how well she knew me, and what perfect materials she had picked out to inspire me.

FUNNY STORY ABOUT HOW I MET BETHANY:
Bethany delivered Elijah.
I got to know her (rather intimately) each week during my check-ups. We would get to talking about things and when I would talk to her I would forget that there was goop on my belly and we were supposed to be listening to a heartbeat. I can remember not knowing if she would be in the delivery room with me, because there were several people on call. When I first went into labor, I had a different midwife... which I was so bummed about. Fortunately though (I guess you could say fortunately anyway) my delivery lasted longer than her shift. And at 8am Bethany came in through the door. I told her I held that baby in waiting for her!
I couldn't have dreamed up a better person to help me through that difficult time.
And she was the first voice I can recall hearing when I woke up in the recovery room.

After that I would look forward to seeing her during checkups. And I have to say, who ever looks forward to checkups? She always seemed to be excited to see me too. But I figured she had a million patients, and she was probably just being nice.

When I went through some post-partum issues and was at my lowest, Bethany was there. We chatted, hung out. It was a real highlight for me during those dark days. I don't know what I would have done without her. I mean, it's amazing when you can not only have a friend that can talk through your issues with you, but also has the power to perscribe medicine :)

About a week before I moved, I got to see her giant scrapbook room. I salivated as I poured through all of her books. I was so bummed to have finally made a connection with someone only to have to move right afterwards. Fortunately, we don't let that get in our way. I am so blessed to have her in my life.

It just goes to show you can make the most incredible connections, the most intimate friendships in the most unexpected places.

TAI CHEE GUY AND THE SPEEDO INCIDENT

DAY ONE OF MY SPIRIT WEST COAST ADVENTURE

What do you get when you put three adult men, a baby, and a very tired mother in a Simpson Minivan? A trip to Spirit West Coast.

So far, it's been a long day, but a memorable one.

The first memory made was at a Rest Stop near Willows. As we were pulling away, I saw a curious character walking his dog, and we just had to stop and watch. The man was actually doing tai chi moves while waiting for his dog to pee. He obviously wasn't very skilled, or perhaps just not practiced because it looked more like drunked tai chi. But as soon as the dog had done it's business, he immediately stopped and headed back to his car like nothing had happened. What on earth posessed him to do something like that?

Weird.

Next we made our way down to Laguna Seca and set up our booth. When we finally got to the motel that we were staying at, Brad,one of the guys I was with, pointed out that there was a man in a Speedo getting out of the pool. We snickered a little but kept going. As we were sitting in the car waiting for Tim to check in, Brad decided to get out of the van and see what our rooms would look like. As he walked out, Speedo guy comes waltzing around the corner- no towel, just as proud as can be on display. Brad starts busting out laughing and jumps back in the car. Speedo guy has now obviously caught onto the fact that Brad is laughing at him and proceeds to continue parading around our vehicle while staring Brad down. The entire van is just vibrating with laughter and we are trying to turn away but this man is just so proud of himself. Such a funny experience.

I love road trips.

They always involve hilarious interactions.