This is how we pray

I believe Carmen said it best in one of his early 90's hit songs when he said: "We have to pray, pray, pray we have to pray most everyday."

Prayer is a part of my everyday life. I pray while I'm vaccuming or showering. Basically anytime I feel like I won't be disturbed is when I do it. But praying today got me thinking: If I'm always finding ways to pray silently on my own, how will my children ever learn to make prayer a part of their everyday life? My mom was pretty amazing at teaching me how to pray. I can remember large portions of my childhood not being able to find my shoes or my coat or one of my favorite toys instead of saying something like "well... just find it!" she would say "well why don't you ask Jesus to help us find it?" What a novel idea. It seems strange to say that doesn't it? As if the God of the universe would care where your shoes were.

But as I would watch my mother pray while looking for her keys, it allowed me to learn in very practical ways that God does indeed answer prayer and that you can tell him ANYTHING. There is no insignificant prayer to the Lord. I can remember vividly the night I plead to God when I was 8. I was alone in my room, crying my eyeballs out, thinking about how my dad might die. You see, he struggled with a disease his whole life and went through many times when he almost didn't make it. That night, things looked very grim for him and I felt helpless. I cried out to God in my bed that night and said "God, please heal my daddy. Please! Can you just let him live long enough to walk me down the aisle God? In Jesus name I pray Amen." That was the night that made me a believer in the power of prayer. I believe God heard my tender, broken, eight-year-old heart and answered my prayer. That was a BIG prayer, and the day my daddy walked me down the aisle I remembered what God had promised me and I thanked him for it.

 Fast forward to my own parenthood experience and I have to admit, there is a shameful lack of continuous prayer in my home. Sure they have a track that they say during meals and at bedtime. One they've memorized so thoroughly that it's almost difficult to pull them away from it and actually think about what they are saying to Jesus. When I think about it, Jesus himself spent much of his time on earth teaching others how to pray. When they didn't know the words to say, He gave them a track to guide them. When he was afraid, he asked them to sit beside him while he prayed. He prayed for the sick and the dead and the drink and the bread. He prayed in so many circumstances it was impossible not to think of prayer being a routine part of his day. Matthew 19:13 Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Jesus had a special place in his heart for children and even in that instance he taught the little ones how to pray and that what they said and how they felt was just as important to God. So today when their daddy asked me to pray for him, I used it as an opportunity to teach my kids. We all sat down and I explained what daddy needed prayer for. They elected a representative (Elijah) to pray. He started on the usual prayer pattern he was taught but then was forced to go a different route due to the specifics and when he was done, they all said "Amen!" And that was it. Maybe a minute long thing that had them stop and pray and look towards Jesus.

I'm not always going to be great at this, but I really want to strive to teach my children that prayer doesn't just belong at the dinner table, or in their beds at night. They can talk to Jesus anytime and there is nothing too small or insignificant for Him. I believe Jesus especially listens to the hearts and prayers of little children. I believe He uses those moments to show even the littlest of hearts that He is faithful in all things.

A Happy Life

                 To live with purpose,
                 To say the courageous thing,
                 To celebrate the simple gift,
                 To follow your dreams.
                 This is a happy life.
                                  -Wayland Henry

This was the quote on the front cover of one of the most moving birthday cards I have ever received, given to me tonight in one of the most peculiar and wonderful ways by a completely anonymous person.

So tomorrow is my 31st birthday. Normally, I love birthdays and look forward to mine starting the day after Christmas. But there was something about this year that was the first time I was actually quite dreading it. Sure, nobody loves turning older (unless you're 6). But that wasn't it really. This would be the first year I turned older without my dad singing me a birthday tune in his pavorotti voice at an insane hour in the morning. It was like I was moving on, growing older without him and it left me with a lump in my throat everytime I thought about it.

Of course it's also February, which meant the car registration and a renewal on my license and just like that... boom.... no money to even celebrate with. It was looking kind of grim and I spent the entire week in prayer about it. I prayed for peace about it, I prayed for God's provision financially, using a specific sum (that was seriously like asking for a million dollars). But I also prayed that in some way, with my earthly daddy not here to tell me he loved me, that God himself would tell me. That I would just know that He loved me, and that He was with me. And one night he distinctly said, "Erin... be still and know that I am God."

So, I was still. I prayed, and I cried and I praised Him and I watched as the days slowly drifted towards my birthday. Tonight, my family decided to leave our home around 7pm. We packed ourselves in the car and took off. About 15 minutes into our ride, I saw a strange phone number calling me. I didn't recognize it and thought it might be a person from Craigslist, so I let it go to voicemail. When I checked the message, it was a man (disguising his voice) telling me that there was a package on my front porch. Now, I don't know about you, but usually when someone tells you that, you start to think about bombs and terrorists. But I also thought that it was the night before my birthday so maybe, just maybe it actually WAS a package?

We came home later that evening and went to the front porch to check. Sure enough there was a small Anthropologie gift bag. I opened up the nicely ordained giftbag to find a sealed card. It was a beautiful card really, with the most amazing poem. It spoke right to the heart of me, like those words were God speaking. And inside the card there were no written words at all and only a Happy Birthday printed on the inside. And there it sat, the EXACT amount of money I had prayed for this month.

I bawled, I sobbed, I ugly cried and I thanked God. How could this person have even known it was my birthday? How could they have known that I wouldn't, I couldn't possibly accept money from someone I knew? But mostly, how could they know that right then, that night what I really and truly needed to know, was that I was loved? Really loved?

Dear "Anthropologie" I'm calling you that because I have no other name to call you. I have no idea who you are, and I know you went to great lengths to keep it that way. But I just wanted you to know that I have never felt so entirely loved by a stranger before in my life. I so appreciated your words to me, your encouragement, and your support. I felt them. And I felt God through them. I could literally feel that big God bear hug I was so longing for on my birthday. I wish there was a way for you to know just how much that meant to me. And so, this is the only way I know how to tell you thank you. I hope you read this, and that everyone who does read this knows that once again, God is CRAZY CRAZY just so very CRAZY AMAZING. I've said it before, and I will say it to the end of my days. Thank you Anthropologie, for making this one of the most amazing birthdays of my life.
Yours, ever so sincerely,
Erin

The Provider

What's God done for you that you can be thankful for this season? When I look back on my journey with Christ, I think about all of the things, great and very very small that He has done for me. The one constant thing over the years, has been the tremendous generosity He has shown me.

I grew up as a pastor's kid back when it was not popular, nor a wealthy endeavor. I can remember so fondly my mother spreading out all the bills on her bed each month. She would take the ones she knew she could pay, and write checks for them, carefully teaching me how to do it. Then she would spread out the ones that she couldn't afford to pay and she would pray over each one: "God, I need $241.72 this month for the utilities, can you please provide? Lord, the registration is coming up on the car this month as well. We need $52.36 for that. Can you please provide it? In your name, Amen." And as I sat there, baffled at how she payed the bills, she smiled at me and said, "Now... let's see how God pays the bills."

Sure enough, over the week, we would receive a refund check from something she overpaid that was exactly $52.36. Or my dad would find an envelope on his desk at work with $241.72 and a note that simply said "God told me to give this to you." It was absolutely impossible not to see God in that, even for a skeptical kid.

The winter when I was seven years old, we lived in Edmonton, Canada and were chilled to the bone. We also ran out of money for groceries. We prayed over our fridge and asked God to provide. I could see the worried looks on my parents faces, and wondered how God would really put food in my fridge? The next afternoon, I was walking home from school and saw two large grocery bags FULL of food sitting on our doorstep. I burst through the door and  happily exclaimed "Daddy! God brought us food!!" Years later my dad cried and cried about that one simple gesture, that kind thing that some random person listened to God's voice and obeyed.

I think about all of the things God has done for me, the ways He has provided for me, even through the readers of this very blog and I am in awe. How can I not see his hand as I cook in my wonderful kitchen and not think about the way in which He provided it? How can I not send my little boy off to school each morning, waving to him as he drives away in our car and not think about how God provided that car to us, when we knew we couldn't afford one? How can I look at the beautiful snow-covered Mt. Shasta and not think about the very long, and God ordained road that brought us here, when all hope was lost? And how can I look at the simple drawing of numbers Elijah brings home each day and not think about how God perfectly created, and took care of the tiny little hands that drew them?

He is everywhere and this holiday season, I am absolutely loving looking back on all that God has done for little old me, big and small. How can I not feel  your love God? It is all around me.

My father, who art in heaven

Heaven is such a strange place to think about. So many people, in trying to comfort me about my father's recent death, tell me "He's happy and in a better place." And as much as it is comforting that he isn't in pain anymore, it's hard to be comforted by my dad being in heaven. The truth is, we really don't know what heaven is like.  We are told that heaven is a wonderful place, with streets of gold and your own mansion. We are told that we store up treasures in heaven, and that there is a great choir of angels who sing praises to God. But we don't know, not really for sure. And when I close my eyes and think about my dad, his voice, the way he laughed, his infectious personality, it's hard to think that all of those things don't exist in heaven. He's in a new body now, in a new place, and sometimes I wonder if I would even recognize him or if he would recognize me.

When I was a little girl, I used to ask my dad what heaven was like. He would say, "Erin, heaven is like a giant church picnic. All the people that you love are all in one place and you can eat all kinds of amazing food. You can have steak, and chicken, and chocolate pie and all the coke you can drink." As an adult, I'm not surprised that my dad associated heaven with food. But even now that I'm old enough to know better, I still can't help but picture my grandaddy, and my grandpa, and my friend Esther, and my Uncle Oc and my dad all sitting on a big blanket somewhere, eating an amazing spread of food and laughing at a funny joke my dad told. I imagine God, and Jesus and the Holy Spirit all sharing one enormous piece of cake.

But my view of heaven, and what I've been taught about it still leave me with this amazing sadness. It's hard to look up into the heavens and praise God sometimes. To praise him singing a song my dad loved, or taught me how to sing. It's hard to deal with the fact that now both my daddy's are in heaven. And sometimes, when I'm alone and I'm talking to God, I also talk to my dad. It's a confusing business having 2 heavenly fathers, and I admit that I am not at all used to it.

My baby boy accepted Christ into his heart last week. It was a moving and wonderful thing, and I had absolutely no one to tell. So I sat there, bawling my eyes out and thanking the Lord and trying to imagine the party that was happening in heaven. And all I wanted to do was call my dad, and hear what he thought. And I hoped, I really hoped that he was a part of the party. That he was standing up there just crying, the way he always did when moving things happened.

I don't know if he can hear me, or if he can see what's going on. I don't know if he hears Elijah plead with God to give Guy a parachute so he can fly back to California and live with us. I do, and it breaks my heart to have to tell him that there is no balloon that can go up and get Guy. But I'll keep talking to him, and we'll keep going on with life. And I know, that one day, I will see him again.

 
                                I know heaven must be a great place, because it's where my dad is.

Oh yeah... I have a blog

Most of the time, when wonderful and awful things happen in my life, I am ready and able to blog about them. This time has been different. I just got back from the most amazing vacation with my family (which I will blog in detail about later) and then BAM suddenly got hit with this life-altering news. My dad has been sick for some time now, but he has recently been given some really bad news, and some pretty bad odds. I go back and forth in my head about whether to be realistic, or to have faith. The world tells us what the numbers, the facts, and the figures say. They give you percentages and you are asked to base your life around those.

This is what I know: as a child of God, I do not have to conform to the percentages and odds the world gives me. I can call upon the great Healer, my Jehovah. In times like this, I think of the story in the bible of the very sick woman who was absolutely desperate to try anything. So desperate, in fact, that when Jesus walked by her, she pushed through the crowds and just touched Jesus' robe. I can't imagine the kind of desperate situation she must have been in to in one last act, hold onto the bottom of somebody's clothing. But for whatever reason, she did. I love to imagine the kind look Jesus gave her as he turned around, so touched by her faith. What was it like for Jesus to look at you so touched? What was it like to hear him tell you that because you had faith in him, you were instantly freed of the pain and sickness you carried with you for so long?

I know that God can take my father, he has always been God's. And if He does, I will accept that it was His plan. But I am still holding onto the bottom part of His robe, having faith that no matter how many numbers and odds are thrown at me, it is certain that if God wills it, he can turn around and look into my father's eyes, and heal him instantly. I pray that He will.

Dream Big or Go Home

 It's no secret that in my life I've seen God to do some pretty miraculous things, things I really never thought possible. But this past week, God has taught me even more about his provision. My friend Ronda is a fellow mommy and believer. She, along with her husband and 3 kids, have moved around a lot over the past few years and this last year they moved to a very nice house in a new town that they love. Because they had recently moved, I was a little surprised to hear her say that she had found her dream home one day while driving. I thought about it for a minute and then thought, well hey God can do anything, why not? So I told her that I couldn't wait to hear how God gave her that house.

Weeks and even months went by and I had all but forgotten that comment. Until last week when Ronda emailed me to tell me a crazy amazing story. Through a series of incredible events and circumstances that can really only be deducted as God's plan, she was given the money to be able to build her dream home. PRAISE THE LORD!

This absolutely challenged me. I guess because I am such a practical girl, I am only ever asking God for what I need. I never feel like I deserve what I actually want. But watching Ronda's faith, hearing how every T was crossed, every I was dotted; how everything she ever NEEDED and DESIRED God gave to her, because she asked, I felt like I had been limiting God all this time. I never think of God as the one who supplies our every want. Mostly because, we're taught that he supplies our every need. I think of the woman in the bible with the jars in her kitchen enough to make food for a few days and God supplying enough each day for her to be able to eat. I think of the mannah from heaven God sent to the Israelites when they were in the wilderness. The lesson is always the same: be content with what you have and grateful that God provided. I have always tried to live my life that way.

But I was looking through a foggy window. God is our father, our daddy. He doesn't just put food on our table, or provide the amount of money to pay our bills. He loves to see his children happy, to inspire them, to encourage them, to stand beside them as they grow and dream. I never thought of God as a God who provides for our dreams. And it was like He was telling me, if you ask me, I will give it to you. So it dared me to ask God for the impossible, like really really impossible: to be able to own a home that I love in a wonderful neighborhood. This is an outrageous request, but I'm no longer going to limit my God or his desire to see my dreams come true.

I don't know where you are in your faith, or  what you've been going through, but I encourage you to DREAM BIG DREAMS. Don't let the reality of your circumstances limit the almighty.I challenge you, just as I was challenged, to not be afraid to dream or to ask for the impossible. He wants you to succeed and he's calling you to have the faith to ask, just as Solomon did:

1 Kings 3:5-15
At Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon during the night in a dream, and God said, “Ask for whatever you want me to give you.”
⁶ Solomon answered, “You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day.
⁷ “Now, LORD my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. ⁸ Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. ⁹ So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?”
¹⁰ The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. ¹¹ So God said to him, “Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, ¹² I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. ¹³ Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for—both wealth and honor—so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. ¹⁴ And if you walk in obedience to me and keep my decrees and commands as David your father did, I will give you a long life.” ¹⁵ Then Solomon awoke—and he realized it had been a dream.

He is Faithful

Here's a short video testimony of God's faithfullness to us:

Another Crazy Amazing Story

Nearly 2 years ago I found out I was pregnant with baby #3 and I tried to imagine where I would put her. Our 900 square foot house was tight as it was and the third bedroom was arguably a closet. With no choice, I made that tiny little space the coziest I could, and I started praying for a miracle. I watched seasons come and go and no matter how much I looked and tried on my own to get a house, something always fell through.

On December the 26th, 2011 I prayed once again to the Lord. I gave him specifics of what I wanted in a house: I needed more square footage, a fenced backyard, a bigger kitchen, 2 bathrooms and an indoor washer and dryer. I also mentioned the fact that we didn't have money for a deposit really, and that our budget for this miraculous house was only $100 more than we were paying now.I said this knowing that there were absolutely no houses that big for that price. Then I said Amen and carried on with my day. 6 hours later... our landlord came knocking on our door. He told us that he had a 1300 square foot house with a spacious kitchen, fenced in backyard and an indoor washer and dryer. Then he said it was only $50 more than what we were paying now. My jaw dropped.
As soon as I walked in, I just knew it was God. I could feel it in the timing, and the circumstances. He somehow managed to find the perfect house for us and He worked out the deposit situation. And here I am, 5 days before the new year, feverishly packing to move! The real kicker is, it's about half a block from where we live, so the move is going to be so easy... and cheap.

All the time I prayed, and asked and begged for a new place. All the times that perfectly good houses fell through, how could I have known that God had something so much better, so much more affordable? I've said it before, I will continue to say it... Our God is Crazy Amazing!




Our new home.

A Birthday I will never forget

This is one of those days I'm going to store in the back of my mind; a treasured life moment.



For the last several years, I have said that I wanted to make a birthday cake for Jesus for them to understand that it is his birthday. Each year comes and goes and I always end up forgetting to do it. This year, I was determined to make it happen. I talked to my fellow mommies from our mom's group and, together, we planned to do a birthday party for Jesus. We baked cookies in preperation, and talked it up all week. Finally, we woke up this morning and were so excited about the big birthday party we were throwing for Jesus.

We decorated cookies, dressed in nativity garb, heard the nativity story, sang carols. I'm not sure there is any greater joy than listening to your children sing songs of praise to Jesus.To be able to watch them really understand what Christmas is about and to be so excited about it. The party was a blast and the real highlight was when all the children danced like angels in celebration of Jesus' birthday. And after every cookie was eaten, and all the kids were tucked away in bed for a nice long nap, I sat down to think about the day we had. I thought about how The Lord must have smiled so bright when these tiny little children sang his praise. Did he cry as hard as I did when I heard my two-year-old say "It's Cheeses bewfday. I wuv Cheeses."? I'd like to think that his heart melted as much as mine did when his little children came to celebrate his life.

Jesus and A.D.D.

For those of you who don't know, I have A.D.D. Usually, most people associate this specifically with learning: reading, writing, classwork. Unfortunately, A.D.D. creeps into your life and grabs ahold of it in ways you never expect. Lately, I find it especially daunting at church.

A typical Sunday at church you hear the sound of babies crying, people coughing, cell phones ringing, people blowing their noses, women clacking their heels. Most people find them to be annoyances, but to me they are things that completely distract me from the Lord. So I have to be really careful about where I sit in a service. I can't be too close to the back because I constantly hear the door opening and closing, or I hear conversations in the back foyer, or normally that's where all the moms go to shush their babies. It's hard to sit in the middle because people's heads get in the way of the speaker, and if I can't see the speaker, I can't pay attention. So my only option is to sit in the front, which presents it's own problems when you are 15 minutes late because you just dropped off 3 kids. You can imagine my husband's frustration with me.

Today I found my A.D.D. particularily frustrating as it was communion. This is a time when I really try hard to focus and concentrate on the Lord, and remembering and honoring him. Unfortunately, the lady in the aisle across from me did not share my sentiments and instead decided to take the time of reflection to gab with her girlfriend about her week, and then provide running commentary on how the worship team was performing today. This really bothered me, and I gave the lady a couple of good glares, but I don't want to be known as the grumpy gus who glares at people all the time.

Then the sermon came and the halleluia lady started her "Praise God"s and her "Amen"s and the ever annoying "YES!" in 30 second intervals. I realize that you are emphasizing what the pastor is saying, but when you interject so frequently all it does is draw attention to you and makes me completely forget about the sermon. I find myself anticipating each thing she says, wondering which word she'll use, how loud it will be, if anyone else is as annoyed at it as I am . I even start counting. In case you were wondering- 37 "YES" s were said. I wonder how anyone with A.D.D. can be pentecostal. Can you imagine? Oh the tongues, and the slaying in the spirit. Who could focus on God?

This probably sounds awful of me. I am really not trying to be judgemental. I just already have such a difficult time focusing, I feel like church just exacerbates it. I often think of the sermon on the mound, and all the people just sitting there listening to Jesus. Was there a lone person out there with A.D.D.? Were they counting how many times the old guy in the corner fell asleep? Or were they watching the little kids climb the trees like I would be? I'd like to think that Jesus would understand... even when nobody else does.

A Prayer from a pit

Dear God,

I've been having a really bad past few weeks. So many things have been happening, and not happening. These children are small, they are helpless, and they are trying. I'm losing sleep, and my mind. And I feel ALONE...very alone. I have no family, I have no support and the bottom is dropping out of my world. The deciever is lying to me, and pulling me apart at the seems.

And yet, in the midst of total turmoil... I can still feel you. I feel your sweet breath against my skin, I see your goodness in the smiles of my children. You spoke to me, I heard your voice, heard the words you spoke to me and I am standing on them today. I know that it may not make the pile of laundry go away, or the temper tantrums end, but in the quietness of my heart.. I praise you.

I write to you today to remember that even in the midst of total despair, sadness, darkness, and the feeling of being cut off from the world that YOU WERE HERE. Thank you.

Psalm 40:2-4 He pulled me out of a dangerous pit, out of the deadly quicksand. He set me safely on a rock and made me secure. 3 He taught me to sing a new song, a song of praise to our God. Many who see this will take warning and will put their trust in the LORD.

God first, facebook second

I've really been challenged over the last several weeks about my devotions. I have to be honest and admit that I am NOT that great at doing them, and am rarely consistant in them.

Lately, our pastor has been challenging us to go after our God times before we do anything else. His biggest challenge? Doing devotions BEFORE he checks facebook.

That made me think: how willing am I to go on facebook, check my email, read other people's blogs, pretty much ANYTHING before I'm willing to hear from the Lord? It really puts things into perspective. I see just where my God has been put in my list of priorities.

So I've really been struggling with, and working on, opening my bible before I turn on my computer. What a challenge that is, especially since as a stay at home mom, it is my only connection to the outside world, and people who speak English and not baby babble.

It's equally been as challenging to find time in between dirty diapers, dirty dishes, feeding faces, and keeping children's fingers out of electrical sockets, to spend time with God. But I have been working on it, and I have to say it has really given me fresh eyes on my day and a bit of extra motivation in my day as I ponder the words God speaks to me during my work.

So here I am posting this blog as a public accountability to put the Lord first, instead of facebook.

The Power of The Supernatural

Some of you may know Randy Miller from the Myriad, some of you may not. At 38 years old, he has been fighting very serious bone cancer for the last year and a half. Over the last year, I have been following his story, via his wife Kristyn's blog: http://kristynmiller.blogspot.com/

So today I was surprised to read that after all the countless hours of chemo-therapy, and intense treatment, his tumors have come back and there isn't anymore treatment they can do for him.

The world would tell us to say goodbye to Randy. All of modern medicine would say "there's nothing more we can do". But we have something else in our corner; we have the creator of the universe. And I for one am not giving up on that.

Lately, God has really been teaching me about his POWER. About the power of the supernatural. Does it seem impossible? Well, that's when God always shines, just when it seems impossible. So Randy, today I pray this prayer over you because I BELIEVE that the Lord is going to heal your body for his Glory. Matthew 21:22 says: "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
I believe Randy, don't you stop believing.

Dear Jesus: I lift up Randy Miller to you today. I lift up his body, weak and tired as it is, to you. I ask that you will heal his body, rid it of the tumors and poisons that consume it. The doctors have done all they can do, but there isn't anything The Great Physician can't do. I ask that you will do what humans see as impossible and that through your healing touch, that others may come to experience your power, love and mercy. I ask that you will use Randy's story to reach those who do not believe, for they need something tangible to see.

God, we know you can do it. We believe you can do it. I ask that you will do it. Please heal Randy and completely rid him of the cancer that sits in his bones. I pray this in the Great and Powerful name of Jesus. Amen.

Believe it Randy... I do.

When God reads your blog: A Crazy Amazing Story

3 weeks ago I wrote a blog. In it, I expressed 2 very serious needs. At the end of the blog, I wrote this: "I am writing this blog to keep an accurate record of our lives, and
God's goodness in them. I don't know what the future holds, but what I
do know is that someday in the near future, I will be able to write a blog that says "God paid our hospital bills and gave us a new car!"

Just you wait, My God is good and He will take most excellent care of us. He is Crazy Amazing!"

For the last 7 months I have been praying for a new car. Praying, knowing I had absolutely NO MONEY to buy a new car. Praying, knowing there was no reason that I should be so blessed. Praying anyway.

Over the last few weeks, the temperature, and the pressure took me to a breaking point. My prayers became more desperate, and much more specific.

I asked the Lord to give us a car with less than 100,000 miles on it, that had air conditioning that the boys could fit into. And then, I prayed that God would drop it out of the sky.

It's hard to even write what happened next, I am still in shock really. On Wednesday of this week, I got a surprising email. A friend of mine from college said she had a 2001 Nissan Sentra just sitting around at her house and she wanted to know if I would be interested in having it..... for free!

She then explained that it had 80,000 miles on it, air conditioning, and ... you guessed it, enough room for the boys. To top it all off, she offered to drive it to Redding. God, quite literally DROPPED IT FROM THE SKY!


Times are tough right now in our country. I don't know if you have lost a job, or can't pay your mortgage, or if you're in a financial pinch. But I encourage you, wherever you are in your life to Call upon the Name of the Lord. Have faith and believe that He can do the IMPOSSIBLE. And then..... ask Him to. He loves his children and he is faithful to them. I've said it before and I will say it again "Our God is Crazy Amazing"

Deuteronomy 7:9 "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands."

Yup... like I said.

This is a response to my previous blog about God being "Crazy
Amazing"...... yeah, He really is!

Last week, I stepped out on a limb and wrote a blog about how I knew God would provide, I had no idea the kind of response HE would give me.

That night I prayed all through the night about the hospital bills, not knowing what to do next. The next morning, I received the best gifts. My friend Jaimie told me about a financial aid program the hospital provides, my friend Bethany wrote me and encouraged me, and my friend Imaya explained how she too drove a jalopy and could sympathize with me.

God was already encouraging me. Then, Tim walked through the door with a smile and a check from the IRS that we had not expected. God gave us enough to pay a good portion of our immediate medical bills.

God was already providing for me. Then my friend Imaya told me that God unexpectadly gave her a check to buy a new car! I knew God was speaking, not only to me. Somehow it really encouraged me to think that if He could provide Imaya randomly with a car, then He could also provide for our automobile needs.

He IS good, and so very "crazy amazing". When I said I was going to be able to write a blog praising Him for meeting my needs, I had no idea it would be a little over a week later.

God works in mysterious ways, I have always known that. But I just could not have imagined how he would use a blog. Wow, I am in awe.

Crazy Amazing

God is crazy amazing. I say this because I know that he has and will meet our needs.

It seems like over the last few months, our needs have increased exponentially. Our hospital bill was unreal, but an expected amount of money that we stepped out in faith about, hoping he would supply the money for it.

What came as a surprise was the cost for Noah's hospital stay. Because he was in the NICU for several days, he wracked up quite a bill; a bill we had no idea we would have to pay. My eyes bulge out of my head everytime I even walk by the hospital bills. But somehow, I trust that God is going to take care of this. He knew these costs would come.

When I was in college, I got a nice 4 door Saturn with decent miles on it. It has lasted through many cross country treks and 2 kids. But now, with high mileage, no air conditioning, and barely enough room for 2 carseats.... it is dying. There is NO WAY on God's green earth that we can afford to buy a new car. Or even make decent payments on it. But somehow, I trust that God is going to take care of this. He knew this day would come.

I am writing this blog to keep an accurate record of our lives, and God's goodness in them. I don't know what the future holds, but what I do know is that someday in the near future, I will be able to write a blog that says "God paid our hospital bills and gave us a new car!"

Just you wait, My God is good and He will take most excellent care of us.

He is Crazy Amazing!

Laughing at God

It's funny how God can speak to you at such interesting times, in such interesting scenarios.

This morning I was flipping through channels while feeding my son and came across this Regina Spektor music video called "Laughing with". The message was so powerful.
If you haven't heard the song, it is all about How God can be amusing to people; sometimes at a cocktail party or in a joke. But how nobody is laughing at God when they really need Him.

The chorus in particular talks about praying to God like he is a Genie or a magician like Houdini. That made me think; how often do I pray to God for Him to help me out of a situation, or give me something I need? When do I simply sit at His feet and tell Him how much I love Him? Do I really take the time to tell Him exactly how I feel about Him without a hidden agenda, or a "prayer request"?

I found that an embarrasingly low percentage of time do I actually just tell Him how much I love Him. I wondered how much that must hurt Him; how used He must feel. It made me think of the kind of people who only really talk to me when they need something and how it made me feel. And I wondered how in 27 years this thought never occurred to me? Wow God, thank you for what you taught me today.



If you have time, check out this music video, it's really powerful:

Church Search

We have been church shopping, hopping, and bopping for 2 years now. It's been exhausting. To be honest, I almost gave up hope that we would ever find something that filled our needs.

Ofcourse there were our spiritual needs; the meat and potatoes. But we have found that when you add children to your family, their needs are also important. And it has really been difficult to find that perfect balance. As I have often heard, the perfect church does not exist. And I think that statement is partially true; we're all human, therefore nothing can truly be perfect. But I always held out hope that something close to what we needed to fit would be out there.

I am happy to say that today we found that church. I know it's something great when I hear my husband tapping his feet and harmonizing with the songs, when I hear him laugh at a joke the pastor tells and see him anxiously filling out a visitor's card. You know it's good when you come out of a service and feel full from all of the spiritual food you just ate.

It's also nice when you come to the nursery and see that your son survived and is playing and happy- a difficult thing to accomplish by strangers. It just feels good to have met the Lord today.

Sigur Ros and God

Ever heard a song that wasn't originally intended to praise God, but somehow touched you in a profound way? A way that made every fiber of your being want to get up and dance and shout and praise Him? That's what Sigur Ros "Glossolli" does to me everytime.

The funny thing is, it's all in Icelandic and it totally wasn't meant for worship. But somehow, it does that for me. Isn't it interesting how God can use creaters of "secular" music to really strike a chord in you? Sometimes when I miss church, or am feeling especially far from Christ, I turn on Sigur Ros and I dance around in my living room. Just shouting and praising him. And I know that it's worshipful, cause I know He can see deep into my being and know that it's all meant for Him.

Somehow it makes me think about what Heaven will be like: A thousand instruments creating the biggest symphony ever seen. And that symphony playing the prettiest music. And there I am, in the middle of it just dancing and singing and falling to my knees and crying out to my King. That's what Sigur Ros does to me. I hope one day when I am up there, they'll play a Sigur Ros song.... they're awesome.

The Passion of the Christ

On Good Fridays, Tim and I have always tried to observe the holiday in some fashion. We've gone to church vigils and musicals. We've even observed it in our own home. One time, a few years back, we went to a screening of the movie The Passion of the Christ.

It was held at a local church and we were excited to finally see the movie to help us understand just how much Jesus went through. What we soon discovered though is appearantly Jesus went through some things that were "too graphic" to watch. So at each of the really graphic parts, the church would put the screen to black and use a bible verse to depict what happened during that scene. They did this periodically throughout the movie.

It struck me as odd that on a day when we observe Christ's ultimate sacrifice for our sins, we were kept from the most gruesome parts of his murder so as not to be exposed to how "graphic" it was. Christ's death was not a PG kind of thing. It amazes me how we have made it that way.

Well, after the service, I was so curious about the missing parts, that we rented it and offered to watch it with my family. "It's too gorey" is the response I got.

My response "ummm... yeah... that's kind of the point."

Thankyou Lord for dying for me. Not a glamorous death, or a quick and painless one. Thankyou for dying a horrible, bloody, awful, too violent for me to watch death. It reminds me of just how much you love me, that you were willing to go through it, even when you had the power not to.