I'm a size WHAT???

I hear a lot of moms post-baby who have issues with what size they have become. Taking that body that was just stretched into oblivion and making some semblance of your former self can have it's challenges. But while most women worry about fitting into their skinny jeans, I would have to say that I am worried about something far worse... fitting into my old shoes.

Before I had children my feet were a healthy and normal size 7 1/2. I liked that size. I could borrow my sister's shoes, there were more options to choose from at shoe stores. It was nice. Then I had kids, and that went out the window.

Now I know what you're thinking....how could anyone's feet grow THAT much because of having babies? And I really don't know what to tell you. Except that in 3 years, and 3 babies I went from a size 7 1/2 to a size 9! Well, really it's more like a size 8 3/4. But since they don't make that size shoe, I find myself with the dilema of either cramming my toes in a size 8 1/2 or swimming in a size 9.

Unfortunately, when your feet grow this much, you have to completely get a new shoe wardrobe, which a lot of people would think was super fun. I find it to be an exhausting task. I gotta say, I often was envious of the women with size 9 feet. Afterall, there always seemed to be a TON of size nines at shoestores because let's face it, only WNBA players and jolly green giants wore that size. But now, here I am, finding myself on the other side of that fence and realizing that there just aren't a lot of options out there.

So here I sit, shoeless and rambling. Skinny jeans? Who cares. I miss my old comfy shoes.

Basing things on a Previa experience

So I was called by my doctor today and diagnosed with Placenta Previa. That scared me a little. Fortunately I have a rock-awesome midwife as a friend and even though she can't be here to deliver my baby, she is always a wealth of information on all things baby. I cannot tell you how much that keeps the worrying at bay.

So this whole previa thing has made a ton of sense, as I have been experiencing symptoms, but never understanding why. But the stinky thing is it really limits my housework and regular mom stuff I do each day. On one hand I could look at that as great, but let's be honest here.. if I don't do it, I'm just going to be looking at 4 months of sitting in filth- not appealing. However, if I DO the work and push myself, it could be harmful to the baby- catch 22 in my opinion.

So here I sit, 18 weeks pregnant, diagnosed with something a little scary, a little confusing, and a little inconvenient. It's days like this I wish my mother was here.

The big announcement

So it is with great pleasure that I would like to announce the anticipation of the newest member of the Warkentin, well... tribe I guess now. We were more than a little surprised to find out 6 weeks ago about this new little one. We had been waiting to announce it until it was safe, but after a very big scare yesterday and the reassurance that God is ultimately in control we are happy to announce that we have a healthy baby due in late October.

This is a surprise and a blessing and we are excited (and really really overwhelmed). We have always wanted 3 kids, that was the ultimate plan. Both Tim and I had such gaps in age with our siblings that we wanted our kids to be more close... I guess we just weren't planning on them being THIS close. But fortunately for us, God is in control of our family planning (no matter how hard we try to control it ourselves.)

So, from here on out, get ready to read lots of blogs about pregnancy complaints and the fear and anxiety of taking on 3 kids!

36 weeks and waiting....

Well, the floating baby says I have 17 days left, but I am not so sure my body agrees. I went to the doctor today and got a shock. While my body is only 36 weeks pregnant, I am measuring at 40 weeks. Yeah, this baby is going to be a whopper of a kid if I don't get him out soon.

I am progressing pretty well. So well in fact, that my doctor has put me on alert to rush to the hospital if I am having timed contractions. It totally makes me want to run a marathon to make this happen. Seeing as it's going to be 105 degrees this weekend, sitting in an air-conditioned hospital room doesn't sound half bad.

My bags are packed, the car seat is ready, his clothes are washed, his room is done. 

Come baby come.... I'm ready!

The great Belly Button Blunder and various other tales of an overly pregnant woman

It's 25 days till this little booger comes out into the world. If I said I could hardly believe it, I would so be lying.

 

My belly button finally popped all the way out this week like one of those cheap turkey timers you get at Thanksgiving. I feel like my body is saying, "Ding.... it's done". If this is too much information, I am sorry... look away. I just had to take a picture of it because it is so strange and alien like.

I don't ever want to forget what 35 weeks looked like, I doubt I could forget what it felt like. 

I can barely move anymore; the slightest thing getting me out of breath. Turning from one side to the other is a full-fledged production, and my Winco belly now pokes out of even the biggest maternity shirts I own. 

I just want to know:

At what point do you become less of a person and more of an incubator?

Family Belly Pictures

This weekend we decided to take some family belly pictures to commemorate what our family looked like before Noah came. We are thrilled for this new little bundle of joy to finally come, can't believe he's almost here.

We love our Noah baby

Playing with Elijah, the highlight of our days.

A candid shot

Yes I really am that big

Daddy and Eli's favorite game

He can't wait for his baby brother... can you tell?

The 40 day push

Well, it's officially 40 days and 40 nights until Noah arrives.

I found that highly ironic, and had to blog about it. I wonder if there will be a terrential downpour that day? Or if a large amount of animals will parade through the streets in honor of his birth? Perhaps he will be particularily good at boating, an excellent yachtsman if you will. That would be cool.

Last week the doctor measured me and told me that my uterus was 3 inches bigger than what it was supposed to be. She said, "You have big baby". That scared me a bit. I just hope he fits into the cute little newborn clothes we got him.

Maybe we should have named him Goliath.

It's official

I finally made it to my doctor today and scheduled the day that our new baby boy will be born. His official birthday is June 3rd, 2009. 2 months from tomorrow. I can hardly believe it.

First of all, it is a surreal thing to pick the day your child is born. It's kind of nervewracking, and for what it's worth, I spent a lot of time thinking about it. Hope he doesn't ask me one day, "Mom, why did you have to pick THAT day?"

I gotta say, I don't particularily like having that much control. Which is weird, since I am a control freak. Still it's nice to have a date on the calendar. Though, I am measuring big and wondering if this baby is going to stick to the day or if he might just choose his own.

So, to all who are wondering, June 3rd.... it's official.... 62 days left.

The Nursery: and so it begins

So I picked out paint samples today. I got the paint mixed and the paint brushes bought. It's time to start this nursery!
I couldn't be more thrilled. I just wish the picture of the swatches turned out better.

Oh well. Here they are, the colors of the baby's room. It's pretty exciting to be able to get a baby room ready. Here is the material for the curtains that Lauren is making me. Can't wait till those puppies are up!

I feel almost like a new mom because with Eli, I never got to put together a real nursery for him. It's really invigorating and helps make the arrival of our new son a little more real. I'll post some pictures of the room, once it actually looks like a room.

99 Days

The little floating baby says there are only 99 more days left until I become a mother for the second time. It's hard to believe how soon it is, I'm still getting used to the idea of having...gulp... 2 kids. I can remember planning for my wedding and having a huge countdown. Once it got under 100 days, the time seemed to fly by. The last 6 months have already whizzed by me, I can't imagine how fast 12 weeks will be.

As the days wear on, I'm finding it exceedingly difficult to do simple tasks. I hate that your brain tells you that you can do it, and then your belly reminds you that you can't. It's so debilitating. 

99 days.... yeah I cannot believe it.

Arguably the best birthday present ever

So yesterday was my birthday, and Tim took me out on a romantic date to celebrate. What happened that night was something I will remember for the rest of my life.

BACKSTORY: To accurately get why this night meant so much to me, I have to rewind and tell you that I am 6 months pregnant and we have had the toughest time coming up with a name for our baby boy. You see I have had my heart set on a name for some time now, but Tim didn't like it. It was really hard for me not to want that name, but I let it go so that we could agree on one. But after months of not being able to agree, it was beginning to wear on me.

FASTFORWARD TO LAST NIGHT:

Tim took me to C.R. Gibbs and we had just ordered a shrimp bowl to share. He asked me if I wanted to open my birthday present. I ofcourse said yes, and he slid a card over to me. The card was sweet, and left me a bit teary. Then there was a folded letter inside the card. I opened the top flap and it read:

Happy Birthday Erin. I didn't get you a birthday present this year. I could have gotten you some scrapbook stuff, or a transmitter for your ipod  but I wanted to get you something more meaningful. So this year I  am giving you......

And then I opened the bottom flap which read:

the name of our son.

After months of debate, he finally decided that the name I liked so much for our son, would be his name. I bawled like a baby and squealed with delight. I think our waiter thought we got engaged because he halted our food to give us time. No doubt he saw my enormous belly and thought to himself, "It's about time he makes a proper woman out of her."

But it was just the sweetest and best gift I could have gotten. I couldn't imagine our son having a different name, and believe me I tried. And now, I will always have this wonderful story to tell him about how we came up with his name. We still haven't decided on a middle name, so I will save his name announcement for another blog. But I just had to gush over how wonderful my husband was, and the best present I have ever received from him!

My little men

I've been thinking a lot about what it is to raise 2 boys; the kinds of challenges I will face, the kinds of things I need to be thinking of, the kind of world I will live in. I must admit, I always pictured myself braiding hair and buying barbie dolls. The whole 2 boy thing totally threw me for a loop. But I have known in my heart since I first found out I was pregnant, that each child would be a boy. Call it instinct, call it the Holy Spirit preparing my heart, I just knew.

Though I think about the fact that I may never buy pink, that my house may never been filled with ribbons and bows and polka-dot panty-hose, I take comfort in the very special responsibility the Lord has given me in raising 2 men.

I never realized just how different boys were from girls. I guess I knew they liked cars, and making sound affects, but I never realized just HOW different a boy's world is. They communicate in such different ways, they can be really aggressive and angry at times to get their point across- this is all new to me.

All week the Lord has really been speaking to me about raising my boys. I have thought about what I want for them, and I have kind of made a mission statement for my little men.

I want my little men to be considerate and unusually kind to others, able to express themselves and their emotions. I want for them to have confidence in who they are and their abilities. And I want them to have deep and meaningful relationships with Christ, understanding fully who He is and what He has done for them and what He can do through them if they allow Him to.

I recognise that in order for these things to happen, I have to really work on being a strong mother to them, obedient to God's promptings, continueing on even in stages that are not my favorite. I truly believe that boys need extra hugs and kisses, extra nurturing in order for them to be confident in who they are. And so, I have also created a cree for myself to raise these little men.

I want to be a strong mother to my little men. I intend to nurture them and care for them when they need it most, and to stand back and let them have their space when they need it (even if it kills me to do so). To encourage them to express their feelings and emotions, even if they are things I do not want to hear. It is my intent to encourage them in all they do, to motivate them when they need it, and not to push them when they can't go further. I want to see them and appreciate them for who they are, and not who I want them to be. But even if I do not succeed in these things, above all else I promise to teach them about the Lord. To raise them with a profound respect for Him, to speak daily of Him, to answer their burning questions about Him, and to encourage them to walk in the light.

The Lord has given me a profound responsibility in raising men. These men will be my legacy, the thing I will be most remembered for, and the people who will most remember me. They will grow up and be husbands and fathers and grandfathers. And raise generations beyond me. That will be my reward.

So it's okay if I don't get to buy pink kitchens, or baby dolls. I take comfort in the little boy world God has given me.

Introducing the newest little Warkentin

This is a pic of our new precious bundle of joy.... a healthy baby boy!

On Tuesday we went to UC Davis for a level 2 genetic sonogram. Because of Elijah's arms, we wanted to make sure that we were at least a bit more prepared if our second baby had the same condition. Though we know it is rare, and really a total fluke.

So we made the trek to see the geneticist and get a better view of our new baby.

We had an extensive sonogram done- 45 minutes long. Elijah fell asleep because of the dark, quiet room and we just sat there, the two of us, staring at our new baby and holding our breath for bad news. The sonogram tech didn't say much and took her findings to a doctor. The wait seemed like an eternity. Finally the doctor came back and told us that everything looked great.

10 fingers, 10 toes, 2 arms, 2 legs. We were in awe.

We still don't know quite how to feel or what to think. We are overjoyed for our new baby boy, that he will not have to go through intensive surgeries and numerous hospital visits. That he will not have such physical challenges and limitations. But we mourn for our Elijah, who was not as fortunate.

We think about having 2 little boys so close in age, yet with such different physical features. We worry about how it might make Elijah feel, and dread the day when he asks us, "how come I don't have arms like brother?"

But, we are so thankful for the 2 little boys God has seen fit to bless us with. We are thankful for their similarities and also their differences. And we cannot wait to see what a house with 2 little boys will be like.

Tales from Georgia: on soul food and sonograms

Here I am again, just looking back on the last 24 hours. My Aunt Kay took me to my favorite southern restaurant: Shirley's sole food. From the outside, it pretty much looks like an old broken down building. The inside isn't much nicer really, but the food is to die for.

As you walk in, you're greeted by old spiritual songs on the intercom system. Friendly faces ask you if they can refill your glass of ice tea, and while you wait for them to finish pouring they tell you about how they found Jesus and ask you if you are born again. It's a neat little place really and it feels a lot like entering a wardrobe into a southern kind of Narnia.

With foods like fried catfish and cabbage salad, you wouldn't think the food sounded even edible. But it really is something to be had. And as I sat eating the last bite of cornbread I was oddly sad to leave that place and enter the real world again.


Then it was off to a wonderful evening with my friend Bethany. It's a strange kind of experience: giving birth. You never know how you will make it out alive at the time, or who you will meet during the process. But it is just such an event that led to me becoming good friends with my midwife Bethany. We had a lovely evening of Mexican food and catching up. We shared our passions for scrapbooking and babies and caught up with everything we had missed in the last year. She then offered to let me see my baby on the sonogram machine., and I gladly accepted.

Having a friend put that squishy goop on my belly and find my angel baby on the screen was a great experience, one I am glad I got to share with her. We were glad to find at least one arm that had 2 bones in it and five fingers on it. You cannot know what a relief that is. And I finally found out the sex of my baby!!

All in all, it was quite an eventful day and I am glad to have experienced it here in good ole' Georgia!

Morning Sickness Tales

Okay so I had to lighten the mood of the blog a bit, it's getting a bit "intense". So I thought I'd share a few great morning sickness tales, past and present.I have pretty much thrown up in every kind of bathroom there is, and I have grown to be quite the connissuer of toilets.

Some things I have learned:

Best Place to throw up: A hospital. Their toilets are ALWAYS clean and you don't feel weird being sick there, cause everybody is sick there.

Worst Place to throw up: Oooh this one is a toughy, there are so many awful places to throw up. But I would have to say the public restroom at any shopping center. Mostly because when you throw up near people, they think you have some sort of eating disorder and give annoyed sighs and dirty looks.

And now for 2 great stories about morning sickness. The first one happened just today. Tim took us on a family outing to Target. I didn't get very far before I had to run to the bathroom. First stall I found I checked for obvious dirtiness- yes... I found a clean stall. Unforunately for me, the lady next to me had a really bad case of diarhea. Needless to say, I got stage fright and had to plug my nose and run back out of the bathroom.

Second story- this one happened when I was pregnant with Elijah. I worked in a tiny post office with about 5 other girls. There was a bathroom there, but it was sort of in the middle of everything and was not very private. One of the girls I worked with was "as regular as could be". Each morning she would hit the bathroom with a magazine and a fair amount of haste and wouldn't return for 20 minutes. Unfortunately for me, the mornings were the height of my sickness and I quickly had to run in after she had left to throw up. When I got there, she had left some floaties in the toilet. But I didn't have time to flush it cause I was already throwing up. Gross part- the floaty + puke-filled water splashed up and sprayed me all over my face and hair. SO SICK.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed that.

Ugh

I forgot what being pregnant feels like. I mean I remember the sick part. But it mostly just feels like the flu. I forgot about the achey muscles and the exhaustion beyond belief.

Last night I turned over in bed and pulled a muscle so bad I screamed in pain. Actually screamed. This morning I woke up feeling like I had played linebacker against the Giants. Wish I had some icy-hot.

The Baby Flu

There are a lot of things that you forget about pregnancy once your baby comes out into the world. Morning sickness is not one of those things. It is a rite of passage that marks the beginning (and sometimes middle and ending) of your pregnancy.

I was so sick with Elijah all throughout my pregnancy. It was rough. I was really hoping and praying that this pregnancy would be different. Having a 1 year old is time consuming enough. But this little baby seems to want to torture me too. I can't keep food down and can scarecely drink without throwing everything up. It really sucks.

I know that lots of women get sick, but I don't know how many of them really are implanted on their couch for weeks on end. My kitchen is disgusting, my laundry is overflowing. The trash hasn't been taken out, the bathroom hasn't been cleaned. (Well except for the toilets... who can puke in dirty toilets?)

Yet no matter how hard I try to get up and clean my house, it is all I can do to feed and change my son. Even writing this blog took me several hours to get up the energy to do, and as I type I am feeling the chunks rise. This is truly awful, and I don't even have a cute little bump to show for it.

So don't expect too many blogs from me for a while.

Announcement

So, the cat is out of the bag... I am pregnant again. I have to say, it was a total and complete shock.

We were so excited that God allowed us to find a 3 bedroom house in our budget range so quickly, now we know why. We had just moved in, boxes were still all over the house, the night we found out. Tim and Eli were watching Monday Night Football when I broke the news.
I gotta say, I have never seen Tim more relaxed. He was very cool and collected, just what I needed.

Everything is so different going into pregnancy for the second time. I think because you know what you are getting yourself into. I can't believe I am going to be the mother of 2 kids. There aren't words... really.

Baby is due June 10th, 2009. 2 days shy of our 5 year wedding anniversary. I am sure the initial shock will wear off right?

Oh yeah... I forgot

I must first write a disclaimer to those of you who haven't had children yet. You might want to avert your eyes, or go watch Heroes or something more useful with your time, as the contents of this blog could possibly dissuade you from further considering the possibility of bearing children. Unless, ofcourse, you are a man, in which case this will have no bearing (no pun intended) on the overall outcome of having children. Then again, if you are a man I am truly curious as to why you have continued to read on since this is so obviously shaping up to be a very  estrogen-filled installment of "my pearls of wisdom". But, I digress. To sum up- this blog is not for the faint at heart... viewer discretion is advised.

So, it has been 7 weeks since I have given birth to my son. And in that time, I had somehow managed to forget most of the trauma it took to get him here. To be totally honest, I had already been considering the possibility of having another one. I mean, staring down at his beautiful face- even at 4am, I thought to myself "He was worth it." And, when pressed, I would definitely agree to do it all over again if I had the opportunity. Please understand... I love my son.

However, this morning with my head in a toilet... it all came screaming back to me. You see, labor caused my back to be out of alignment and because of that, I have been in extreme back pain all weekend. Much to my relief, I went to the chiropractor this afternoon to fix this problem. What I didn't realize is that it actually hurts WORSE to get your back re-aligned and subsequently I spent the better part of the afternoon laying on my bathroom floor in misery. That is when I  remembered the first 5 months of pregnancy. And I silently prayed that God would spare me the nightmare of pregnancy for at least another year.

I find it amazing just how quickly we, as women, forget the pain of pregnancy and childbirth. When other mothers told me this, I laughed at them. How can they forget this? I was so sick I was almost admitted to the hospital. I had the most horrible labor experience- you couldn't dream up a worse scenario. And people forget this?  But, despite the wound from my surgery still being fresh and the puncture marks from my IV having only just recently healed.. I found myself forgetting. I truly believe this must be a gift that God gives women. Because I know for a fact that if we DID remember every little detail- the population of humans would have been extinct by now. No woman would voluntarily go through that nightmare again.

And I, for one, was thankful that my back got re-aligned so my momentary lapse in judgement would vanish and reality would set in. I am perfectly content with the one baby I have.... well.... for now :)

A little Christmas Miracle

Christmas has been a whirlwind of grace and gifts!

It was truly a celebration of birth as I found myself carrying a child of my own- something we have wanted for a long time. The Lord really blessed us with a Christmas miracle this year, and we are truly thankful.

I would like to take the time to thank my God for coming to this earth in human form- may we always remember His love and sacrifice, and for my ever-expanding belly.... and family!