Another Camp Winning Hands Adventure (2013)

Well, this was our second year driving up through the hills of Livermore to Camp Winning Hands. This year was different. We had a year of school under our belt. And we, as parents, felt much better about our community. Elijah on the other hand, had a bit of a rough year. He had an amazing teacher in kindergarten this year who bent over backwards for him, but it was also a year of understanding that he looked "different" from other kids.

We never really taught him that he looked different, we chose instead to let him figure it out on his own. Oh the woes of these decisions. Should we have talked to him more about it? Would he even understand? We asked him last year if he noticed anything about the kids at camp, he promptly answered that they had hand differences. But he did not see any similarities between him and the kids.

It wasn't until school hit this year and a ton of kids would ask him daily why he looked different and if he was born that way that he started to really FEEL different. We noticed him pulling out all of his hair, and being more clingy to us when we dropped him off. He wouldn't talk much about his day. It was hard. But he eventually developed a track to say on his own and we encouraged and loved on him as best we could. The year ended up being pretty good. Then summer hit.

I mentioned before that he had a breakdown on the 4th of July after a craft project we did involving hands. He questioned why God made his hands that way? It was really challenging to answer without crying. Not because I pity him but because I could fully understand how I would feel the same way. And so, it was after that little heartbreak that we drove to Camp Winning Hands and were greeted very warmly by a few little boys who looked just like him. He immediately noticed this year, and started to smile and play with them.

He enjoyed his time with us, but we watched him break out a little more and begin to make some real strides at feeling like he belonged. Last year, was all about us getting answers, meeting others and understanding things. This year, was all about Elijah; building his confidence and allowing him to make friends where he could just be himself. All of the volunteers there have such kind hearts, and are really
committed to helping these kids. It's such an emotional thing to watch.


And so... without further adieu, I give you a video of Elijah's Hand Camp experience:

http://vimeo.com/69916898

How to be genuine or, what I did this summer

I've struggled for a while with what to write about on my blogs. How many times can my readers really listen to an emotional spill about my children with special needs? How many craft projects are really that interesting? I worry about what strangers will think of my blogs, or what magazines and publishers will think as they stop by based on proposals I send out. Do I talk less about my kids and life as a mom? Isn't that unprofessional?

These questions are dizzying and quite frankly, keep me from writing anything at all. Here is one fact you need to know about me that's more important than any other fact you will ever know and that is: I'm GENUINE. I can't stand fake. Fake smiles, pretending, trying to be something I'm not. I really despise it and am quite bad at it. So, I've decided to make a decision to go with the one thing that I really know about myself and to be genuine. That being said, here is my summer so far:

*Went to Disneyland which was awesome. My boys loved Carsland (ok so did I) and ended I up buying a season's pass (that was so cheap after our stay there I couldn't say no). Now I'm just a girl, saving up for her next adventure. I love being able to have adventures to look forward to. So on really bad days, I can close my eyes and think about what ride I'm going to ride next, or what Disneyland looks like at Christmastime. It gets me through those really hard days. And is somewhat of an escape for me when the challenges of motherhood can get the best of me.

 

*Discovered the library again. After a pretty scary threat that I received from a homeless man last 

 summer, I've been nervous to take my kids near the library. But they just love to read and play so I developed a systematic approach. I circle the place first and make sure there's no violence or scary people and then I take my ducklings in. They love it!

*Did our best to stay cool in the scorching 116 degree temps Redding gets. This was a challenge since my kids don't understand how to NOT play outside.

Enjoyed a wonderful fourth of July with our cousins in Sacramento. We decided to do a cool art project for flag shirts this year which was really awesome. Only problem is, it led to Elijah's first meltdown about his hands. He asked me for the first time "Why did God make me look different than everyone else?" It broke my heart as it was the question I had been dreading him asking me since the moment he was born. Fortunately I was ready, and I am proud to say I got through my little schpeel without shedding one single tear. That takes effort folks. Fortunately, I got to tell him that the very next day we were off to handcamp where he could meet other kids just like him.

*Which brings me to handcamp. No way am I gonna give a tiny blurb on the lifechanging affects it had on Elijah. It will have to be a seperate blog post. But for now, let me just say it was amazing and we are blessed to have this community of parents and kids and people who take time out of their lives to play with, nurture and love on kids with hand differences. Just looking at this picture makes me tear up.

We also got a lot of swimming in so far. And even tried our hand at kayaking. Which, with three small
children isn't easy. Noah has been especially brave
this year, trying new things. He's getting to be so big standing next to his big brother.

I also got some not great news about Olivia's therapy. Her Sensory Processing Disorder continues to be a challenge. We're working everyday and she's getting better and better but, there is still a lot to go. Last year, we discovered that she had a connection with water. She would go under for a while and never be scared or cry. She would try to swim with little effort and not mind a bit floating on her back. Her therapy is coming to an end, though she still needs a lot of help. I've been trying to brainstorm ways I could help this little water baby and heard of a really cool thing called swim therapy.

 For sensory kids, swimming feels good on their skin. The pressure makes them feel great, and because she often has trouble controlling her muscles, the weightlessness of water allows her to be a graceful little fish. When there's not sun beating down on her face, she is quite content to be in the water for... well forever.

Because we live in Redding, there aren't a lot of options out there for sensory kids. In fact, there aren't any past age 3. So I applied for some funding at our local YMCA and researched how to do swim therapy on my own. Between Elijah and Olivia I've been doing kid therapy for 6 years. I was pretty sure I could hack it in the water and was determined not to let my baby girl slip through the cracks. Problem is.... we didn't qualify for funding. I have been pretty discouraged about it. Still not giving up, but feeling like I'm tired of fighting and nothing happening. It feels like punching underwater.

But still we press on. I'm considering several next steps. Possible fundraiser? Oh I hate asking for money. Maybe haggling with the manager? I'm not sure. The point is, it's been a summer full of happy times and also obstacles.

And here we are, back where we started. This is me, vowing to be more transperant about my life. My boring, mundane life. This is what life looks like with 3 kids, 2 of them struggling through disabilities. But we manage to make memories, and laugh and have good times together. This is my life.