A typical Sunday at church you hear the sound of babies crying, people coughing, cell phones ringing, people blowing their noses, women clacking their heels. Most people find them to be annoyances, but to me they are things that completely distract me from the Lord. So I have to be really careful about where I sit in a service. I can't be too close to the back because I constantly hear the door opening and closing, or I hear conversations in the back foyer, or normally that's where all the moms go to shush their babies. It's hard to sit in the middle because people's heads get in the way of the speaker, and if I can't see the speaker, I can't pay attention. So my only option is to sit in the front, which presents it's own problems when you are 15 minutes late because you just dropped off 3 kids. You can imagine my husband's frustration with me.
Today I found my A.D.D. particularily frustrating as it was communion. This is a time when I really try hard to focus and concentrate on the Lord, and remembering and honoring him. Unfortunately, the lady in the aisle across from me did not share my sentiments and instead decided to take the time of reflection to gab with her girlfriend about her week, and then provide running commentary on how the worship team was performing today. This really bothered me, and I gave the lady a couple of good glares, but I don't want to be known as the grumpy gus who glares at people all the time.
Then the sermon came and the halleluia lady started her "Praise God"s and her "Amen"s and the ever annoying "YES!" in 30 second intervals. I realize that you are emphasizing what the pastor is saying, but when you interject so frequently all it does is draw attention to you and makes me completely forget about the sermon. I find myself anticipating each thing she says, wondering which word she'll use, how loud it will be, if anyone else is as annoyed at it as I am . I even start counting. In case you were wondering- 37 "YES" s were said. I wonder how anyone with A.D.D. can be pentecostal. Can you imagine? Oh the tongues, and the slaying in the spirit. Who could focus on God?
This probably sounds awful of me. I am really not trying to be judgemental. I just already have such a difficult time focusing, I feel like church just exacerbates it. I often think of the sermon on the mound, and all the people just sitting there listening to Jesus. Was there a lone person out there with A.D.D.? Were they counting how many times the old guy in the corner fell asleep? Or were they watching the little kids climb the trees like I would be? I'd like to think that Jesus would understand... even when nobody else does.
1 comment:
You know even for people who don't have ADD that is just rude behavior. If your child cries, take them out of the service. If you need to catch up with a friend so badly then leave. And is an "Amen" really needed constantly?
Funny, I always feel super guilty at church cause if the pastor is one who goes off on tangents or talks slow I have to multitask to stay focused. Yeah for the iphone cause I will pull stuff up to read or look at just so I can pay attention to what the pastor is saying. I had some classes in college like that, where the professor talked to slow that the only way I could pick up the lecture was if I played games on my laptop while I was taking notes. It looks so bad, but I am really listening. Listening better if I wasn't doing it.
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