A Very Duggar Blog Part 2

2 years ago, I wrote a blog about the Duggar family. Since then, it's gotten hundreds of hits a week, and it's even hit the top 10 on google searches for Duggars. What I find interesting is that most of the people that read this blog, barely even read what I had to say. They just went straight for the jugular, defending the Duggars to death. But today, I had to moderate a comment that went too far.

I think it's interesting that people will go so far in defending this family,that they will actually threaten people, and make fun of other people's CHILDREN just to get their point accrossed. REALLY?? Wow. Way to show Christ's love people.

But it leads me to wonder...what is it about this family that gets people so fired up? To be totally honest, most of their practices and principles aren't really that bad. They're not exactly how I would raise my kids, but they're entitled to their own parenting methods...everyone is.

I think what makes this family so controversial is their decision to continue to have child after child. Sure, they have a lot of kids, but I don't think that's the real issue. A woman in her mid forties, with a history of complicated pregnancies and, just recently, an extremely premature birth should really consider how safe it is for her to keep having children. Her health and well-being is important when she has 19 children to take care of. Without their mama-bear, those kids would have a really difficult childhood. But I also think the safety of the baby would be in question.

It's amazing to me though that one little blog sparked such a huge internet debate. I guess it proves, all you have to do is say DUGGAR, and the wolves come out.

Jesus and A.D.D.

For those of you who don't know, I have A.D.D. Usually, most people associate this specifically with learning: reading, writing, classwork. Unfortunately, A.D.D. creeps into your life and grabs ahold of it in ways you never expect. Lately, I find it especially daunting at church.

A typical Sunday at church you hear the sound of babies crying, people coughing, cell phones ringing, people blowing their noses, women clacking their heels. Most people find them to be annoyances, but to me they are things that completely distract me from the Lord. So I have to be really careful about where I sit in a service. I can't be too close to the back because I constantly hear the door opening and closing, or I hear conversations in the back foyer, or normally that's where all the moms go to shush their babies. It's hard to sit in the middle because people's heads get in the way of the speaker, and if I can't see the speaker, I can't pay attention. So my only option is to sit in the front, which presents it's own problems when you are 15 minutes late because you just dropped off 3 kids. You can imagine my husband's frustration with me.

Today I found my A.D.D. particularily frustrating as it was communion. This is a time when I really try hard to focus and concentrate on the Lord, and remembering and honoring him. Unfortunately, the lady in the aisle across from me did not share my sentiments and instead decided to take the time of reflection to gab with her girlfriend about her week, and then provide running commentary on how the worship team was performing today. This really bothered me, and I gave the lady a couple of good glares, but I don't want to be known as the grumpy gus who glares at people all the time.

Then the sermon came and the halleluia lady started her "Praise God"s and her "Amen"s and the ever annoying "YES!" in 30 second intervals. I realize that you are emphasizing what the pastor is saying, but when you interject so frequently all it does is draw attention to you and makes me completely forget about the sermon. I find myself anticipating each thing she says, wondering which word she'll use, how loud it will be, if anyone else is as annoyed at it as I am . I even start counting. In case you were wondering- 37 "YES" s were said. I wonder how anyone with A.D.D. can be pentecostal. Can you imagine? Oh the tongues, and the slaying in the spirit. Who could focus on God?

This probably sounds awful of me. I am really not trying to be judgemental. I just already have such a difficult time focusing, I feel like church just exacerbates it. I often think of the sermon on the mound, and all the people just sitting there listening to Jesus. Was there a lone person out there with A.D.D.? Were they counting how many times the old guy in the corner fell asleep? Or were they watching the little kids climb the trees like I would be? I'd like to think that Jesus would understand... even when nobody else does.

I'm SEW excited! Part 2

So many of you know by now that my New Year's Resolution this year was to embrace my feminity. Meaning- to boldly go into brave new girl world territory. Part of that resolution, was to learn how to sew. To be totally honest, I did take a sewing class in the 8th grade and therefor new basic sewing knowledge. But it's been 15 years, and as I learned.. it's not exactly like riding a bike.

My best friend, and creative advisor Lauren invited me to come over and gain some instruction in sewing. I chose my first project to be a pillowcase dress. So, I bought an amazing fabric bundle from an etsy shop , a cute pattern and watched a youtube tutorial from The Crafty Gemini and went to work. With MUCH instruction and patience from Lauren, and 8 hours later (I know it's sad really). I finally finished the dress. I couldn't be happier with it, and I cannot WAIT to make the next one.

Olivia liked it so much, that she chewed on the bows most of the time, so I couldn't really get an AMAZING picture of her in it. But they're cute all the same.

So this is me, in March, still holding strong to my New Year's Resolution and feeling like a more complete, confident woman because of it. I'm so excited for what the rest of the year brings!

Hello World

To say that life's been difficult over the last few months would be an understatement. I really thought that by 4 months, I would have a better hold on things. But I find myself in a slump that reflects this winter weather. The same old thing day after day, the constant battles, behavior modifications, and sleep deprivation. It feels like wave upon wave of sadness, and exhaustion and sometimes it seems like it's difficult to have empathy and compassion.

So I put all 3 kids in the van today, and drove to the store. I turned on my new country craze Lady Antebellum and skipped to the 4th track. It's as if they took everything my heart was saying, and put it into a song.

Sometimes I feel as cold as steel, broken like I'm never gonna heal

Sometimes I forget what living's for and I hear my life through my front door

I see my wife, my little boy, my little girl.. hello world.

Oh the empty dissappears, I remember why I'm here

To surrender and believe, I fall down on my knees

That's when I looked in my rearview mirror and saw all that I'm living for. I love when God reminds me of that.

You too can be a winner

Have you ever seen people post things like, "I just won a free cruise playing Bingo" or "I just called in and won free concert tickets" and gone... WHAT THE???!?!
I want to win something. I'm desperate to win something. And not something dumb like a free small fry playing McDonald's monopoly or something. I want to win something BIG. Like a free trip somewhere, or a free house. That whole dreamhouse giveaway was such a great dream. The problem was, I actually saw myself winnning it. I thought about the HGTV people actually ringing my doorbell and what would happen. In my head, it looked dreamy and wonderful. Here is what would have ACTUALLY happened:

I would have opened the door angry because the doorbell would have woken up my sleeping baby. I wouldn't have showered and, let's face it, would most likely be in a bathrobe because I didn't have time to put pants on. So there I would be, no makeup, covered in peanut butter, frazzled and wearing a pink bathrobe with 4 cameras shoved in my face and a set of keys handed to me. I would have been a hot mess. But, at least I would have won something.

Okay so maybe I could win something that DOESN'T require all of america to see me in my pajamas? I'd be okay with that. I wouldn't even care if I just won "random blog of the year" award (as long as it came with a gift certificate to Outback Steakhouse).

The Exodus of Genesis

So it seems that every college out there has a homecoming. They have homecoming basketball games, homecoming dinners. It's where cool peeps go to talk and reminisce about the good ole' days. But at Simpson, homecoming is for 80-year-olds. This makes me sad. I feel like we don't have a place to connect, to have community. I think it's sad when your school caters to it's 80-year-old almni because they're the ones writing the checks.

Because our homecoming looks more like a retirement home than a place of fellowship, us "youngens" tend to catch up during Genesis weekend. Which is SUPPOSED to be a campus preview weekend, but really it's where all the people from my generation go to things like NITELIFE and such. Maybe it's because we all have such fond memories of nitelife, I dunno. This weekend is Genesis. And, because of poor attendence issues and a general lack of interest, Genesis is dangerously close to extinction. I know it's best, it's a better direction for the college. But selfishly, I can't help but wonder.... where will all the cool people hang out?

Erin Tracks: March 2011

So, because of this new reviewing gig I got going, it's really got me listening to my ipod again. And it made me think about how I should be sharing what I'm listening to and why. I always love hearing what's on people's ipods, what inspires them, what get's them pumped. So here are my top ten ipod songs this month:



I've really been on a Radiohead kick lately, well more accurately a 90's Radiohead kick. You know, back when they used real drums and wrote grunge-like classics.

1)High and Dry- Radiohead
Lovin' it's basic drumbeat and electric guitar build up. What an incredible gem.

2)Fake Plastic Trees- Radiohead
Such a great acoustic song. Where was I when it first came out? Oh yeah, junior high.

3)Hello World- Lady Antebellum
Okay don't hate me, I know it's country. But I'm trying to expand my musical horizons. I love this ballad about the important things in life. Can I just say I am totally drawn to 3-part harmony songs? Goosebumps.

4)Good Life- One Republic
I am a sucker for an incredible drum track, and this is definitely one good one. Such a happy, uplifting song about how great life is.

5) Dream- Priscilla Ahn
A song about being a little girl. Totally makes me think of my babygirl. Also, has a breathtaking strings section.

6)Gobbledigook- Sigur Ros
What a fun, tribe-like song. These are such creative people. I'm always fascinated by them.

7)How you like me now- The Heavy
Oh my gosh- seriously in LOVE with this fun song. It makes me feel cool, jazzy, and upbeat...even when all I'm doing is washing my kitchen floor.

8)Mixtape- Jimmy Eat World
My current favorite epic Jimmy ballad.

9)Little Lion Man- Mumford & Sons
Okay seriously this song is rockin' my world right now. I try to ignore the F-bombs they drop.

10) Girl in the War- Josh Ritter
Awesome acoustic song. Love how it sounds sweet, but the words are angry.

In a world without pants

I hate wearing pants. I really really do. They cling to you, in the most uncomfortable ways. They always seem to be either too tight or too loose. And don't even get me STARTED on jeans- hate hate hate them.

My legs love to be free. To feel the wind between them, to roam about as I choose. This sounds weird to most people I know. But most people aren't me. I think even if there was a way to paint on my pants I wouldn't do it. It would probably feel too gooey or sticky. Yeah, I just plain old hate pants.

My husband really did not realize this fact about me until we got married. At first, he found it quite odd. Now he's used to it, as are my kids. I find it to be most useful. EXCEPT when something happens like: Someone unexpectedly drops by and visits you. Or the UPS guy needs your signature, or your neighbor is in his backyard and can see you in yours, or when you need to finish up that load of laundry and you don't have an attached laundry room. Yes, these are the real bummers about being pantless. But mostly, it's just because other people would find it odd. I wonder if I just randomly one day answered the door pantless. What would people do? How would they respond?

One can't say with certainty what they would say. But I bet it would dramatically cut back on the amount of friends that were "in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by." Hmmm.... maybe I should do this....