Lessons from my 6-year-old or the day I failed as a parent

Let the record show, that I am an imperfect person. It's true. I don't like admitting it, but who does? Yesterday I had a major parenting fail. I like to think that I had the best of intentions, but the truth is, my 6-year-old absolutely schooled me.

Elijah was working on his homework, as he usually does most evenings. He had a homework packet sent home to him that he had completed, but his teacher wanted him to do it over. Now this happens frequently for lots of reasons. Most of the time it's because he's answered a question incorrectly. But on this night, he had a very large packet of homework sent home for him to re-do for a very different reason.

Let me back up, I have a mama warrior heart. I have spent a very long time, so many times, fighting very hard for this kid. It's not that I'm out there just raging on people, it's just that to get him all of the medical treatment, therapy and schooling he has needed it has been terribly challenging and I have stepped in as his advocate. I'm used to that role. It's comfortable, familiar and for a long time I was his only voice. So when things happen to him that I have deemed unfair I tend to get a little okay a whole lot red-faced, spitting mad, angry about it. Why do little things like this set me off? I think it goes back to the day that I first held him in my arms and had flashes of these types of experiences, what they would look like and how it would be over my dead, rotting corpse that I would let ANY injustice befall him. Perhaps, in this regard, I get a tad   incredibly overdramatic. On this day, Elijah called me on it.

Back to the homework packet: I noticed that it got sent back with giant lettering on every page that said "Color NEATLY"
Things that I said inside my head "Color neatly?? Color neatly? Let's see you effing color neatly when you have 4 fingers that don't bend." Also probably some other expletives.
Things that I said out loud: "Elijah who corrected this paper? Why do you think she wants you to erase it and color again? She will probably just send it back again."
Things that I mouthed silently across the room to my husband: "Are you KIDDING ME? Who says that to him? What does she expect????" <note it was totally silent>

By now I am fuming. I'm already in cleaning-the-kitchen-so-I-don't-do-something-stupid mode. I'm thinking of things to sarcastically write back on the homework packet and possibly more expletives. You see, I'm mama bear, I'm a prize fighter, I am here to fight all the injustices of this world, one homework packet at a time!

But then Elijah, after erasing his previous coloring venture, calmly began re-coloring his homework and casually said "She's not going to send it back again mama, she knows when I try hard. But I can work harder, there is always room for improvement."

Bam. Just like that. I got completely schooled by a 6-year-old. While I was so busy getting ready to pounce, I forgot that my little boy is growing up. He doesn't need me to fight every battle, just the important ones. And so, I failed as a parent that day because I forgot that I don't have to be his voice, he is his own. And maybe I don't have to get so hot under the collar at every little thing that happens to him. Maybe a little self-control is in order?

Yep, I'm human. Fortunately, my son loves me anyway. And I can try harder tomorrow.