Tuesday, April 15, 2014

We don't negotiate with terrorists: how to deal with picky eaters






Every family has got one. There's that rogue eater, the straggler, the last one to finish their food, or rather the last one to push their food around their plate enough for it to look like it was semi-eaten. And no matter what you do, it is a struggle at every meal to get protein and vegetables or something unfamiliar into their stomachs. So how do you deal with a picky eater?

I wish the answer was a simple one. The truth is.... it takes work! Here are a few methods:

Consistency

I think if there was one thing that I could say I've learned in parenting, it's that consistency is key. If you aren't consistent, you might as well give up now because they will wear you DOWN. It's their job to push limits and test boundaries and to make you feel like maybe you've gone mad. The only way to win this war is to tow the party line.

With our three-year-old, consistency is proving to be the mountain we have to die on. Every. Single. Night we put a well-balanced (okay sometimes it's not always well-balanced but hey, nobody's perfect) meal on the table. And every single night she goes through various stages of whining, complaining, crying and screaming all through dinner. I have to say, it's not a pleasant experience. She tests our patience until it is as thin is a spaghetti noodle. Tim often asks "Why do we even make her dinner? We know it's just going to go straight into the garbage." 

Tim speaks truth. Most of the time, I question the sanity in even making a meal for her. But there are those shining moments, those little glimmers of hope when she reaches for that fork and takes a big, heaping bite of something she's never tried before that I feel that all those other nights have paid off.


Sticking to the Rules

This one  is a tough one for me. In our house, we have hard and fast dinnertime rules. No dessert, or bread or anything "extra" until the meal on your plate is consumed. This one is a challenge because we have three kids and only one picky eater. It often feels to our daughter that we are singling her out when her older brothers get a cookie or a snack. She watches them laugh and enjoy the chocolatey goodness as she pushes around her green beans and whines about how unfair life is. There was a time when I would give into this and hand her dessert- big mistake HUGE! Don't do it guys. Put down the cookie, just say no. The consequences are not worth it.


Don't Negotiate with Terrorists

Now there are lots of different kinds of dinner negotiations. I'm not talking about the "eat 2 more bites and you can be done" negotiations. No, those compromises are the only things that give me the will to live sometimes. I'm talking about, the dinner terrorists. The ones who decide they will give you their terms and you will submit.... or else.
"Ok mama, if I eat 3 more bites of rice, I can have a cookie" Hmmmm..... Nope. Those are not the rules. (Wild fits of rage ensue) "Ok, 4 bites!" Uh, still no.
I counter with an "How about all of it?"
"Ok... fine."
Yes!! I'm thinking about joining the United Nations.

Don't Push It

No matter how hard we try, there are just going to be those nights when nothing gets eaten. It happens to everyone. And on those nights, we allow a little bit of water, but we stress that nothing else is coming until breakfast (which they are always STARVING for in the morning). In order to ensure confidence in your picky eater, it's important not to berate them. Ok, so you may feel like another culinary masterpiece has gone to waste. Hang up that apron and surrender the dinner bell, nobody ever died of an over consumption of peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches.


In short, it's important to stick to your guns and remember that it won't always be like this. But if you can stick to it there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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