Disneyland: The season of joy!

I know what you're thinking: Seriously, ANOTHER Disneyland post? But I promise, there is a story to this that's worth hearing.

 

The  countdown on my phone says 69 days. Which means, we've planned another trip to Disneyland. So what's so special about THIS trip you ask? Well, you'd have to understand what happened on the last one.....

 

Last year we planned the most amazing first time Disneyland trip for our little boys. We spent months researching, booking flights and hotels and planning out how we would do it. The week that we were set to go, my dad suddenly got ill and was in the hospital. For the last 7 years of my life my dad has been in and out of the hospital. Some months were good, some months were really bad but because he always got better, a trip to the hospital for him was quite normal. So we packed our suitcases and boarded an airplane.

 

The night before our big park excursion, I snuck into the bathroom while everyone was sleeping and had a nice long chat with God. I prayed about my dad and his health. I knew he was pretty sick and for the first time in my life, I told God that if he wanted to take my papa away from earth, that I wouldn't be mad at Him. I gave it to God, and then slipped into my bed and fell asleep.

 

The next day we watched as our little boys were introduced to the wonder and excitement of Disneyland. They oooohed and aaaahed at all the appropriate times, and I was there to capture pictures and video of their experiences. We spent one whole magical day in the park, and then crashed that night. Next came day 2. We had our Mickey ears on, our sunscreen was lathered and we hit Fantasyland early to catch a ride on Peter Pan. After a few hours making sure we got to the long lined rides early, we were on our way to California Adventure park. It was during that time that I called my mom to tell her about the day, and how Noah completely freaked out on the carosel ride. But when I called her, she sounded... different, like she was hiding something from me. I tried to coax it out of her but she could barely get the words out. I was too afraid to ask why.

 

So on our way past Fantasyland I asked Tim to call my aunt and find out what was really going on. It was right there that I found out the news, that moment when I heard that my dad was going to die; right there in the middle of Disneyland. All around me people were laughing and having so much fun. And my head was spinning. What should I do? Was this really happening? And my poor little guy Noah was going to turn 3 the next day. We planned on having a really special day for him. Now what was going to happen?

 

We made the long walk from Fantasyland to California Adventure and hiding behind my giant-rimmed sunglasses, I sobbed and held my breath and fell apart a few times. It was a very hard couple of hours where I couldn't really lose it completely because I didn't want the children to be alarmed. Nobody wants to get that call, the call that rocks their world for always; you especially don't want to get it while on vacation in the happiest place on earth. But I had to make Noah's day special and so I put my sadness in a box and locked it away. That last day we spent the whole day doing what Noah wanted to do. We climbed big treehouses, searched for buried treasure on pirate island and boarded a giant riverboat. We ended the day with ice cream for dinner (which he still remembers to this day). I loved having those moments with him.

 

But the sadness did eventually come. It rushed over me and envoloped me and Disneyland was nothing but a memory as the harsh reality of life took over.

 

When we were thinking about vacation this year, the only place I could think of was Disneyland. It is all my kids have slept, ate and talked about and it's the place where you can go and feel like a kid again. So, this next trip, during the anniversary of my dad's passing, we are going to enter those gates again and choose victory over defeat; joy over despair. I want to create new memories with my children, and laugh and play and not be sad- my dad wouldn't want it that way.

 I am going to wear a big tiara on my head and stroll through mainstreet with nothing but a smile on my face because my daddy is in a place where there is no more pain, or tears or sadness and I will be in the happiest place on earth to celebrate his homegoing. I'm gonna laugh, and dance, and sparkle and I'm going to claim JOY this year. I'm pretty sure it's going to be the best vacation EVER!

 

I can't wait to share it with you all!