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When I had Noah, I accepted that there would be some milestones in his life that would be a little bittersweet for me. I thought about how much more advanced he would be, and how difficult that would be to deal with. I never dreamed that 10 months later, I would be puzzled to find out that Noah is actually more behind than Elijah was at his age.
Other babies born in May have long since sat up, my baby boy just doesn't want to. At 10 months old, most babies are crawling, some even walking. My baby seems to be content being immobile. I have to say, it's kind of terrified me as I have really questioned my parenting abilities. Is there something wrong with me?
Last Wednesday 2 of Elijah's therapists came for a home visit, and I reluctantly had to ask for help with Noah. They found that he is behind and that he would need to have a therapist come out for him each week as well. This devastated me.
I don't know why exactly, maybe it's the time that would cut into my week, maybe it's the extra paperwork, the extra stress. Or maybe, if I was really truly being honest with myself it was because I was hoping that for ONCE I could have a normal child. Isn't that an awful thing to even think? But sometimes, it's how I feel.
I'm drowning in doctor appointments, and therapists, and splint specialists, and orthopedic consultants, and surgeries, hospitals, and tests. The last thing I wanted was one more person telling me what to do, and what I was doing wrong.
But when you get down to the real heart of it, there is seriously nothing in this world that I would not do for my little boy. And as much as I HATE to admit defeat, his ability to thrive is so much more important than my pride. I am writing this blog to encourage you, if you're a parent that is little by little watching your baby miss milestones, or at your witt's end with what to do next, don't be afraid to ask for help. It sucks, it's hard, it's real, but your baby is worth it.
2 comments:
Hi Erin,
I don't know if this is encouraging at all but I wanted to tell you about my friend Amy's boys (she has a blog called the Corcoran Clan its on my blogs that I follow). The oldest boy, Conor, is 26 months, and the youngest, Kellen, is 9 months. Conor didn't sit up till 10 months, didn't start crawling till 12 months, didn't start walking till 15 months. So he was WAY behind, right? Well now he is the MOST coordinated little kid I have ever seen. He shoots baskets, I mean really aims and shoots baskets. Conor can dribble a soccer ball like he is 7 years old, and also aims and kicks to score goals. It is crazy watching him play sports because he is just so good at it. He is also really good at craft projects, and has the sweetest temperament. Kellen is going a little faster than Conor but not much. He just turned 9 months old and just started sitting up on his own. Conor is a little behind on talking but Amy isn't worried about it (she did get his speech screened). The thing about Conor (and Kellen) is their both observers. They like to watch everything for a long time before they try it. They are completely normal kids, but learn by thinking, observing, watching. I would be surprised if Conor skips all the normal talking progression and just jumps right in. My guess is Noah is probably similar to these guys. Amy is awesome (and very down to earth) so let me know if you would ever like to talk to her.
Being a preschool teacher and now working in a home daycare, I can honestly say that every single child develops at a different speed. Some children are walking by 8 months, some are having full length conversations at 12 months. Some children are content sitting all day long and haven't even started crawling at a year.
My sister walked at 9 months and then the twins were complete opposites. Katie walked at 11 months and was talking non stop from day one, where as Jacob didn't even crawl till after a year and had no interest in talking till elementary school.
Being a mom, you think that you did some injustice towards your child because they are lacking in some milestones. One of the moms at daycare already has her 15 month son old potty trained, and it leaves me thinking that I am a bum mom.
Parents want the best for their children, naturally. They want the extra advantage in every aspect of their child's life. When I was working at Manzanita Elementary School I had a handful of moms tell me on the first day of school how advanced their child was... and it was true. They could read and write the first day of kindergarten, but by the year was over, all the children were at the same level. It evens out. Same goes for infants and toddlers. By age 3, the playing field is pretty even...
It is good you are concerned, that means you are a VERY good mom. My niece is 3 and still wears diapers and doesn't talk or eat solid foods but my brother in law thinks she is just fine...
Therapy adds more chaos to your day... It could be the exposure Noah needs to get to that point though. Don't think of it as them telling you what you did wrong, because that is not the case. They are here to encourage you and your boys. They are specialists God put on this Earth just for your boys. Someday when they are older then can use it in their testimonies.
I can understand the frustration, but can't even imagine the heartache that weighs on your soul every day. You are an inspiration to me, and I am sure many other moms. You, Erin are a great mommy and good friend. I look forward to your blogs, you fight tooth and nail for your boys... you are one super mom!
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