Noah is 6 months old today. I have nursed him since birth and I never had a problem with it. Until about 4 weeks ago when he got more and more hungry and I got less and less milk. I went to nutritionists, nurses, and specialists. I went to the Breast Feeding Support Center. Everyone was great, and gave me lots of help. But the more time that went by, the less and less milk I would have. After taking supplements, and sacrificing sleep, and doing everything under the sun that I knew how to do, I finally took him to his pediatrician.At 6 months old, my little Noah weighs 10 lbs and 2 ounces. A very tiny and very terrifying weight. She felt that it would be best to switch him to formula and supplement with breastmilk. This kind of shook me. Most people I know have comforted me, helping me to remember that he will gain weight and that's what's most important right now. They talk about how I have fought and tried so hard to do the right thing and that I can be proud of that fight.
But I still can't help but feel like a total failure. I feel like maybe if I would have just gotten less sleep, or pumped more times. Women are just built to have guilt over this. Why are these two insignificant parts of your body tied to such emotion? I never realized how sad I would be when he stopped breastfeeding. I am such an emotional wreck right now.
Since he's been on formula, he has started thriving. He's a much better eater, less fussy and more full. I can already see him gaining weight. I know that it was the right decision to make. I just wish sometimes that the right decisions weren't bittersweet ones.
7 comments:
Hi Erin,
I'm so sorry you've been going through so much lately. I just wanted to let you know that I went through a similar issue. Only for me, breastfeeding didn't work from the beginning so at 6 weeks old Halie had to go completely on formula. I felt so guilty for the longest time and always felt everyone looked down on me for formula feeding. But in the end, it was the best decision for us and Halie is a very healthy girl! You are a great mom and you're doing a fantastic job, definitely don't feel guilty at all! I hope this helps!
You made the right decision..you're not a failure..you did all you could do. I've known many moms who've had to go on formula a whole lot earlier. I can't begin to really sympathize, but sorry you've been having a hard time friend. Like you always say to me: thank you for sharing..now I know how to pray:).. I think you're a great mom!! and good friend! much love!
Hey there friend,
I just wanted you to know that, first, you are doing the right thing. The only right thing. Breast may be best, but getting enough food is better. I think the push for breast milk is great, but can leave people who can't do it to feel guilty and like failures. It often leads to moms putting off formula because formula is often made out to be as bad as giving your child a soda. So not true.
Secondly, One of my best friends up here has just gone through almost the same exact thing. Her daughter is a month older than Noah, and was born at 8 lbs, by her four month appointment she weighed 10 lbs. It is her first child so my friend didn't realize that she wasn't producing enough milk. The baby fed all the time, but just wasn't getting very much milk. Since being on formula and solid foods she is now up to 14 lbs at 7 months. Still small but working her way up.
You are good, thoughtful mom. Thanks for sharing.
Erin... I need to take you out for a pumpkin spice latte. I can definitely imagine your sadness... so I'll reiterate things you already know:
- not insignificant at all... your feelings make sense
- a formula baby is far better than a hungry baby!
- The benefits of breastmilk at this point are not as much as earlier in his life
Enjoy those bottles! And your chunky baby (oh, and I add avocado to almost all of Steiger's fruit he eats... healthy fats.)
Sounds like Noah needs some of your Fat Baby Cakes! You're doing an excellent job Erin. Good for you for making the right decision!
I just had to cut Caedon off cold turkey because they put me antibiotics & Tamiflu.... I feel SO much better now. Caedon didn't die from being cut off. It was hard, but we made it through.
Love you friend!
:( I love you sis
Erin,
Wish I would have stumbled up this post soon than now. I very much went through the same thing. I seriously don't understand why God gave me these huge boobs and didn't allow them to easily produce enough milk for baby Owen. Breastfeeding was incredibly painful for me to start out with so then I tried pumping ... but doing that often enough proved to be hard... and the milk supply went down... then I tried supplements, even prescription medicines... but from the get go there was no up-ing my milk production. I sufferend with an infection too, through all of it... which of course made the milk production drop even more. I felt so much guilt... it was so hard. But Owen's doing well now and that's what matters. I think it's so unfair the way society places so much pressure on women to breastfeed. For some people it just doesn't work. I for one am thankful that we live in a world where we have good, nutritional formulas for our babies at our fingertips.
Post a Comment