The last 2 weeks of my life have been some of the hardest weeks I've ever faced.
The shock of having a second baby barely had time to wear off before the throws of sickness began to overtake my body. Morning, noon and night I continue to be plagued with it and am hardly able to take care of my son.
Last week we had a meeting with Elijah's doctor and surgeon at Shriner's hospital. They let us know that they would be taking a different approach to his next arm. That instead of one surgery it would be 2, and the first would be experimental. So, on November 26th he will go in for a procedure to have 4 metal bars placed in his arm that will, with the help of turning screws each day, help his little arm to grow. The risk of infection is great, and the pain levels will also be radical. The hardest part about this procedure is the fact that I will have to travel with him once a week to Sacramento to have him checked on and make sure things are going well. The responsibility is overwhelming. I cannot imagine being as sick as I am and driving 5 hours a week.
A few days ago I found out that my father, who recently had a successful liver transplant, will have to undergo a kidney transplant as well. I don't really know how to take this news, but the pressure was added when I found out that my grandfather died and was asked to fly to Pennsylvania for his funeral. Being the oldest child, I feel the pressure to take the burden on, but my body just can't handle the strain of the plain ride, especially with Elijah in my lap.
Because of my decision to stay home, and years of tension between my parents and I, I am feeling more and more abandoned and cut off. In a time when you really need your parents, it's a bad time for them not to be speaking to you.
Anyway, this blog isn't to throw a pity party or to get sympathy from anyone, it's just a simple plea to please pray for me if you get a chance. God's presence in my life right now is the only thing that is going to get me through all of this, and sometimes it's hard to feel that presence when the pressure continues to mount in your life.
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