A friend of mine brought up an interesting topic the other day about public bathrooms, it brought a lot of things to mind- mostly gripes. And as you know, I have a profound need to blog my gripes, thus... the creation of this current installment.
There is nothing like the thrill of being out and about, and the defeat of having that "sudden urge" to go. I, being a real woman-about-town, can tell you that I have seen my fair share of common toilets. But one thing that remains a mystery to me are the unwritten laws of the public bathroom.
Rule 1- Talking
Now this rule varies according to what gender you are. I can't exactly speak for men, because frankly I'm not one, but I can go by what my husband tells me, and I find it absolutely fascinating.
For instance, it is perfectly acceptable in a female public bathroom for there to be constant conversation. If you go in with a friend, you can continue the conversation long into the stalls, and long after. It makes no difference what you are doing, it is unnecessary to break conversation for such a small thing. It also allows for when conflict ensues (i.e. the dreaded "can you hand me some toilet paper, there isn't any in my stall" conversation). Which is also another gripe I have, but that will come later.
Men, according to popular opinion, do not share the same need for conversation. In fact, there is a strict NO TALKING policy while doing your business. I found that strange. But I was soon assured it is a common thing. And boys that grow up going to the ladies' room with their mother, often have trouble adjusting to the sudden difference in gender dynamics when entering the men's room.
Rule 2- Waiting in Line
A rule that most men will never get to witness or understand. There is absolutely positively NO BUDGING in line at a women's restroom. It is punishable by group beatings and off-the-cuff remarks. There is occasionally a child who obviously cannot wait, and if there are some very sweet women in line, they will allow the child to go ahead- though old women rarely ever do this. One exception would be pregnant ladies. When I was 7 months pregnant and in line behind 2 old women, they graciously and without hesitation let me go ahead of them "we've been there" was all they need say. It is a common woman thing to allow pregnant women first... and trust me, the preggo's appreciate it.
The only advantage to the "waiting in line" rule is when you need an excuse to have a quick conversation. For instance, if a double date is not going well you and your girlfriend excuse yourself to the restroom and do not come out for several minutes.... what's your excuse? "There was a long line".
Which brings me to the next rule.....
Rule 3- Herding
Yet another gender rule, why is it that women ALWAYS go to the bathroom in herds while men prefer to go solo? Well, as I have stated earlier, men prefer silence while doing their business. Women, on the other hand, often times use it as an excuse to gab, or apply extra lipstick. Contrary to popular belief, we do NOT use the time to have pillow fights in our underwear!
Rule 4- The stall problem
This one is a toughy, because I cannot for the life of me understand why we do this, but if there is a long line of stalls, most women will go to the middle stalls. FACT- the middle stalls have the most germs and are often the least clean, because they are the most commonly used one. So why do we go to the middle stalls? I have absolutely NO IDEA. But most every woman I've talked to does the same thing.
There are many other bathroom rules out there, and my hope is that this sparks people's interest enough to share their wealth of knowledge on the subject.
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