Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The things no one tells you: Oh the loneliness

I took a vacation for two weeks and left my husband in charge. When I came back, I asked him how things went. He told me he could handle the laundry, the dishes, the endless whining. He could handle all the dirty diapers and the time outs. He then said, "But I still could never do your job." I asked him why, and he said, "The solitude is unbearable."This was an interesting statement. Out of all the housework, it was the loneliness that made my job so undesireable.

Recently Tim got a promotion; something he's been working towards for several years now. I have been conflicted about my happiness for this promotion. Because, while it's been something he's been working so hard towards, it also means longer hours and less time I can randomly just talk to him during the day if I get lonely.

This is when that dark cloud creeps in. When I'm about 3/4's of the way through my day and everybody's whining, or worse when they're all asleep and I have nothing to do and no one to talk to. Some days, I would give my right ARM to know that my mom lived down the street from me. Not so that I could utilize her babysitting skills (though that would be nice too) but mostly so I could walk down the street and chat with her; ask her how her day is, hear about her job. SOMETHING, anything really to take my mind off of the fact that I have to work a 12 hour day without any adult interaction.

I really do absolutely love my job. I really really do. It's just when you spend the majority of your day refereeing arguments, cleaning rooms you could swear you just cleaned 20 minutes ago and answering endless preschool questions over and over again you tend to long for adult interaction. This is the part I wish someone would have told me about.

3 comments:

Tracey Jacobsen said...

yep... I can relate to that.

Harvest time (read: now) and March through July are really brutal on my psyche.

Sarah R said...

I agree. Being a stay at home mom can be very isolating while you are surrounded by your children. I call my husband at work just to have someone to talk to. I think this is a part of motherhood that no one talks to you about until you are in it.

Just have to stay focused on the importance of the job while doing the same things over and over.

imaya said...

For me it is the 12 hours without a break. Without someone not touching me, not talking to me. I am so blessed with having a few very good friends right down the street that I spend at least part of most days with other adults but the lack of alone time really gets to me. Being a stay at home parent is hard, beautiful, rewarding, joyous but challenges every being of who you are. Love your honesty as always.