Thursday, May 13, 2010

Won't YOU be my neighbor?


Dear Annoying Neighbors:

I realize that you grew up in the ghetto parts of L.A. but there are certain things that, as neighbors, it's common sense NOT to do here in NORTHERN CALIFORNIA.

#1- When you have 4 children, it is customary to occasionally take them out to parks, and events so they are not always outside screaming at the top of their lungs at all hours of the day and night.

#2- I like the Beastie boys as well, but when it is so loud that it is actually shaking the foundations of my house (next door to yours) perhaps you should be considerate and possibly turn the stereo down, or at least the base.

#3- When you and your wife are having a marital conflict, it might be a good idea to not leave all the doors and windows open so that our entire neighborhood can be privy to the happenings (or non-happenings) in your marriage.

#4- Screaming at your children all day is not a really great method of parenting.

#5- Watching a movie at 1am is fine. Watching a movie at 1am that is so loud when I am sleeping in my bed I can actually pick out which movie it is, is NOT fine.

#6- When you are so stinking loud, inconsiderate and annoying it does NOT make me want to run out and be your friend. So please do not stalk me as I go in and out of my garage, backyard, and house. It's creepy and weird.

2 comments:

Dave said...

I can really only think of one thing to say here, Erin. Phil Connors (played by Bill Murray in one of my favorite films, Groundhog Day) said it best: "People are morons."

Yep. Sad, but it's true most of the time.

Sarah May said...

You seriously must live on the opposite side of MY NEIGHBORS!

Holy cow... you need to have the Redding Police Department on speed dial... I do! I call about once a week. It has helped keep my neighbors PG-13... and the kids, dogs and friends of my neighbors are not as loud as they used to be. You can't really change their East Comptom breeding, but you can help them be better people... ya know

You have the right to live in your home without having to hear the happenings of your neighbors.