Last night I, along with millions of Americans, tuned in to watch the deterioration of Jon & Kate's 10 year marriage. It was a very sad thing. But it made me think a lot about marriage. It is such a fragile thing; the relationship between a man and a woman. It's not something to be taken for granted or put on the shelf. Marriage is a commitment that takes constant maintenance and work and perseverance.
The show last night made me think of my own relationship; the ups and downs. I thought of the times that I have failed as a wife. That I hadn't encouraged him, or that I de-masculated him. If anything, last night's show made me want to work extra hard on my marriage- to fight for it.
Jon and Kate talked a LOT about how everything was for their kids and their kids were the most important thing. The problem with that is that the best thing for their kids is to have a mommy and daddy in a committed relationship, staying together and working at their marriage. When you put your kids above your relationship, it's easy to get side-tracked and to lose focus on your marriage. Too many times I have seen this happen. And while the premise of "My kids always come first" SOUNDS good, it doesn't make for happiness in the home.
I'm not an expert, especially in OTHER people's relationships. But I believe that by honoring my husband, I am loving my kids and doing what's best for them.
1 comment:
Erin, everything about your post is one hundred percent correct, and if nothing else, I can be glad that the dissolution of a reality show marriage reminded you of the many important points you make about marriage and the commitment required to make them last a lifetime. My perspective, gleaned from the passing of years and mistakes made, is that nothing is as important as my marriage and the relationship that I have with Debbie. Fortunately, you have a deep understanding of the true nature of marriage at a very young age, and I'm grateful for that and I applaud you. Your children will never have to deal with the trauma of divorce, which is ugly even if both parties keep chanting "the kids come first". Nice post, Erin ... you're a wonderful example of a strong, committed, Christian wife and mother. I think that's awesome.
BTW - I can't help but wonder how people are so surprised by the disintegration of Jon/Kate. Debbie and I watched a show or two a few years ago and knew instantly that they were in huge trouble. All I got from them, non-verbally of course - was disdain for the other. And even back then we were predicting their eventual demise. Unfortunately, we were correct ... :-(
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