So I used to LOVE going to Spirit West Coast as a teenager. I loved going to see bands like DC Talk and Newsboys. I used to think it was so cool to be immersed in a christian environment, filled with fellow believers where I could just be myself. My what 10 years will do to a person.
It's not that I hated it, or even that people that go to this event don't have good intentions. I guess maybe it's just me. I guess I don't fit into christian pop-culture anymore.
I'm not hip on all the christian rock people listen to (except for the Myriad, whom I HAD to see on the mainstage). I'm not into all the trendiest christian t-shirts (though I am a fan of TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS). But I definitely don't have the stomach to listen to christianese anymore.
I believe that what I have with Christ is more than what you can print on a t-shirt, or hear at a concert. What I have is real. And just like in real relationships it's not always happy and wonderful. Sometimes it can be downright hard. My faith is always being tested. My eyes are forever wandering to look at the beauties of this world. My thoughts aren't always pure. My doubts are so much easier to believe. Still, I hold His hand and walk through this life, beside Him.
When I walked through the Merch Tent at SWC, I saw booth after booth of anti-abortion perefanalia. Buttons and t-shirts that said brutal and insensitive things on them. And I thought about all those poor women out there who were broken and beaten and at their wits end and made a decision. I thought about how those women would feel if they walked past someone wearing one of those buttons. And it made me think maybe we were doing more damage than good.
I walked past a mob of teenagers who raced around asking for people's testimonies, which, in theory, was good. However, I later found out it was for a youth group game. And I thought, in the end does it matter who heard the most testimonies in the day if it didn't mean anything to them?
My point simply is this: A relationship with Christ isn't about
fitting into the mold christians have created. It isn't about what treasures you
can store up, or how many good deeds you can do. It's about opening up honestly
and being vulnerable to Him. It's not about what people's perceptions
of you are, or if you're wearing your christian t-shirt.
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the
outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
- 1 Samuel 16:7
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