Focus

Elijah is 11 days past 11 months old today. As I was sitting watching him happily play and talk to me a sudden peace came over me.

I have been watching him develop since birth and have always been internally upset at the fact that he is not up to "par" with other babies his age. While on the outside I have said I didn't mind, I secretly worried myself to death over it.

I am aware of the fact that most mom's worry about their child's development, and that fact is what has always gotten me through. This month was particularily challenging as I have watched all the babies his age (and younger) go through milestones like feeding themselves, crawling and walking. This has really made me sad inside for him and has made me notice his developmental issues all the more.

Because of his inability to do what other babies his age can do, I have kept him away from them. I don't know if it was to soothe my own conscience or if I really thought people would take notice and start to accuse or taunt. I am pretty sure it was my own fears that have kept him at arm's length from playgroups and such. Today I had a long talk with God about it and I felt very convicted about this. So I have decided that Eli is a perfectly healthy, incredibly happy and terribly loved baby and THAT is what I need to focus on.

I love this boy more than I can say. He fills my days with love and laughter and teaches me new things about myself and God each day. I thank the Lord for Him