The Duggar Dark Place

I recently watched the season finale of 19 kids and counting where Jim Bob and Michelle lost their 20th child, Jubilee. I haven't always been a fan of the choices the Duggars have made, but this episode helped me to see exactly why God gave them a television show.

We watched as they excitedly went into the room to have their 18 week sonogram, and we saw the devistation on their faces as they found out that their daughter had passed away. Within seconds of finding out, Michelle exclaimed, "The Lord giveth, the Lord taketh away, Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Words cannot describe what an amazing thing that was to hear. Someone had just lost a precious gift, a very loved, very anticipated, very wanted child and they turned around and blessed God. Over the rest of the few days, she talked about giving birth to the baby, holding her tiny hands, and knowing that those tiny eyes would only ever see Jesus. And as they lowered her body into a tiny grave, they sang Jesus Loves Me and talked about how Jubilee was in heaven and one day they would see her again.

Sometimes we don't always know why God does the things he does, sometimes it's to teach us, sometimes it's to teach others. But what I do know, is that Jubilee's impact was big. Being able to see the way her family handled that situation, praising God and knowing that she was never there's to begin with, touched my heart.

One thing I thought about and could see so clearly through all of this is that we all go through deep darkness. But it's how you walk through that darkness that defines your character and that blesses the name of the Lord. So many of us don't really think about the fact that we can bless others, touch others, help others by the way that we handle the dark waters. The thing that we don't often rememeber, but it's so good to is that everyone is
 watching and how you handle a situation or go through a hard time can deeply impact others. I thank God for the little life of Jubilee Duggar who was only here for a short time but who touched millions of lives.

Who's Hungry?

If you thought this was going to be a food blog, I'm sorry to dissapoint you. This is all about my love of Hunger Games. It all started a year and a half ago when I was at a baby shower. An old college friend and I were talking about our love of Twilight and how it actually got me into reading books. Maybe this sounds like a 1st grader, let me preface this by saying that I am perfectly capable of reading. I just preferred NOT to read, and would much rather have a People magazine in my hand than a good book. That, of course, changed with the introduction of Twilight and it's 400 paged books that I went through in a few days. And suddenly, I was looking for something equally as attention holding. That's when my friend suggested Hunger Games. I went to work getting the first book just to try it out.

I must admit, the idea of a bunch of CHILDREN fighting to the death in an arena for people's entertainment sounded gorey and disturbing. I wasn't sure how I could like something like that. But I tried to have an open mind. 2 days later, I had finished the book and was well into the second one. It became like crack cocaine to me, I couldn't get enough. I enjoyed it so thoroughly that once I was done, the adrenaline rush stayed with me for the next week. I tried to get my other friends to read it, but they were stuck on the whole bloody children thing and wouldn't dare.

A while past and I heard that they were making a MOVIE of the book! I was interested in the people they had casted for the characters that existed in my head. And I started chatting about it with my friends, which of course made them curious about reading the books. And, like I predicted, they also became addicted.

Now I don't USUALLY like to be one of those pretentious people that says things like, "I loved the books way BEFORE I ever knew there was a movie" but, I find myself saying just that. I felt this way about Twilight too, but this one is different because I am most proud of my new-found reading hobby and I want to make it clear that I didn't jump on a bandwagon just because everyone else is. Why I need to say that? I really don't know, pride I guess?

Tonight is the midnight showing of The Hunger Games and I am so stinking excited to be standing in line well before midnight with a coffee in hand and 800 other excited fans. There's something amazing about going to midnight showings with die-hard fans. Half the fun is the line.

I just hope they don't go into teams again. Team Gayle or Team Peeta? Oh who are we kidding, it's going to be a whole thing.

Sweet gifts

As a mom, I put a lot of pressure on myself to teach and encourage my kids. This is truly important, but what they have taught me along the way is that it is equally important for them to have each other to teach and encourage. I see it in their everyday play, just how much they affect one another. I hear it when Elijah teaches the baby a new word and then praises her when she says it correctly. Or when Noah says "Good job Wijah" when he goes potty all by himself. I hear them say "excuse me" when they want to get by, thus passing down the manners to one another. I even see it in Olivia when she claps for Noah who quietly sings a song or does a dance for her. 

I can recall, not so long ago, when I was pregnant with my third baby, seeing all the stares people would give me when I told them how close together my children would all be. I'm sure they thought I was crazy, and frankly, I kind of thought I was too. The amount of work, the amount of needs, the amount of attention was dizzying. But as I sit here in the quiet of my living room and listen to the sounds of them playing together; tiny giggles, little words of encouragement and love I think.... what a gift. Just as they are a gift to me, they are also a gift to one another. I am so glad they are a little clan of people that all get to grow together through the same stages at the same times.

My prayer for you my babies, is that you have such a strong bond. That you won't let time, or distance get in the way of the precious gift you are to one another. I pray that even when I am gone, you will have each other to lean on, laugh and cry with. That is my gift to you, as you each are gifts to me.

Princess Hipsters

 

2 Things: I'm going to Portland and Disneyland

I thought this cartoon summed them up together quite nicely. First off, I am taking Tim to Portland next month for his birthday. Of course, any trip to Portland is a dream enough, but we're also going to see Coldplay, which I cannot tell you how excited I am to do. A dear sweet friend of mine bought the tickets for us when there was NO WAY we could afford them and they sold out.... FAST! Now, almost four months later, we are excited to finally tour this delightful city we fell in love with and spend 3 glorious kid-free days touring the sights, seeing good friends, and hearing our most favorite of favorite bands play! I am so excited.

Last year, I had the chance to go to Disneyland for the first time and it totally rocked my world. Though it was truly a memorable event, I couldn't help but want to take my kids along. So as soon as I got home, I got to work renting and borrowing every Disney movie I could think of. We began regular family movie nights where Disney characters would come to life in our livingroom. As the boys became more and more exposed to it, they started asking if they could visit the castle and see the fireworks that were at the beginning of each movie. I started flanning my next Disney trip. We finally settled on going for Noah's 3rd birthday. Mostly because, I can't think of a better birthday present than going to Disneyland for the first time and Noah is absolutely obsessed with Disney. He always talks about sword fighting, and captain hook and mr. schmee. He pretends he's Peter Pan looking for his shadow. It's so cute. We spend a lot of our freetime looking at youtube videos of the park and we listen to the parade song on my ipod EVERYTIME we get in the car. They are so excited! And I have to say, I am too.

I'm not usually a traveler, in fact I have spent many years never going anywhere. But I am so thankful that God has blessed us with some couple time and some family time together.

7 years good luck!

Why the crazy picture you ask? Because I'm celebrating and I couldn't find all the party decorations without waking up the kids. So instead you get a thumbs up sign and a wacky looking face to say that my blog is officially 7 years old!

I was archiving a few things and realized that I posted my first blog in March of 2005. Seriously? Now please do not go back and read those first few blogs they are truly AWFUL. Of course now that I've said that, you probably will so may I just apologize now?

Today I am doing cartwheels (pervebial ones because I have pretty bad knees) and screaming from the rooftops (or maybe just quietly squeaking) about this achievement. It's definitely been a long ride and a fun one. From those first few years of documenting my wild ride in Northeast Georgia to having kids, moving, and discovering who I am. I can honestly say, these last seven years have been such a great experience. And even though I literally squirm in my seat when I read some of the embarrassing testimonies, I can at least take solice in the fact that I was genuine. So here's to 70 times 7 more years of blogging fun and all of the good and bad that life has to offer in between.

Things I'm into: Spring 2012

I've discovered and enjoyed some great things over the past little while, I thought I'd share a few of them:

* Resolve Pet Carpet Cleaner with Oxi. I came accrossed this amazing product blog hopping and have seen it work absolute miracles on even the most gruesome of stains. A $4 purchase from Walmart that I can't do life without.

* Mary Kay mineral powder makeup. Revolutionized how much I actually wear makeup now. I've never been a fan of foundation and have avoided it most days. Until my cousin, who happens to be a consultant, told me about this product being like bare minerals only half the price. I tried it and was HOOKED.

*Downton Abby. A masterpiece theatre classic about a noble family and their servants in 1912. The first season is on streaming Netflix and is entirely addicting.

*QRReader app for my iphone. It allows me to go scan any QR and get instant information on the product. It's an ingenius and incredibly futuristic invention that's worth a download.

*Hunger Games. I realize this is entirely late in writing this, since it's been out forever and I've read many books since then, but it's worth a mention since the movie is coming out in a few weeks. If you haven't jumped on board, read these books!

*The drive through at Heavenly Donuts. I found it a few months ago and have since made it a weekly thing that just mommy and kiddos do. $4 buys us all donuts and gives us something to do one morning out of the week.

* The folding child toilet seat. Not only do I not have to lift and clean a gross toilet ring while potty training my boy, but it's also great for child guests and is easy to put back and regulate your guest bathroom.

An SPD tale

Today, my best friend asked me to go on a playdate with her at the Sundial Bridge. It was a beautiful sunny day and I had all three kids with me. I thought, "Why not?" So I packed them all up, and met my friend and her kids at the bridge. The instant I put Olivia in the stroller however, is when things took an unpleasant turn. You see, Olivia does not like new things. The world is scary to her and the sun being so bright and the bridge being so wobbly, really freaked her out. So, she screamed the entire length of the bridge. While I tried, unsuccessfully, to gab to my friend and talk to the boys about the fishermen and the ducks and the airplanes we saw, Olivia screamed on. It was at about the 7 minute mark of thrashing and ear piercing squeals that a steady stream of people began to glare at us. I couldn't handle the "will somebody shut that baby up" stares anymore and made a general announcement to the crowds. "YES, we're all miserable."

As I sat down with Liv beside the river and we watched all the children throw rocks into the rushing water, on and on she cried. She scratched, and hit and threw a very loud tantrum. What could I do? I wasn't going to rob the other children of their fun. So I sat there and held, and comforted and kissed and cuddled and waited for a peace. It eventually came, though under much protest. And my sweet friend apologized for making us come out and play when it was so obviously agitating Olivia. It would be easier to not go anywhere. To just sit in the house and let her be in a controlled, familiar environment, where the tantrums are limited. But, that isn't life is it?

I wish I could tell the glaring people, the grandmas at the grocery store who tell me I should feed my baby, the well meaning moms who give me pitied looks, and the angry childless people who can't be bothered by the noise about my sweet Olivia. I wish they could know her like I know her. How she always wakes up with a giant smile on her face and greets me with a "Good moanin'" when I pick her up. I wish they could see how funny she is, how tender she can be when she leans in for a hug or gives a big kiss on the lips. I wish they could hear how much she talks and how easily she plays with her rough and tumble brothers. But this is something the world doesn't see. It's not something I can explain to every person on the bridge that stared at me today. And that's okay, we'll keep going there, keep pushing those limits and one day, maybe not too long from now, everyone will know the amazing little girl that I know.

Dr. Suess: the philosopher

It's Dr. Suess' birthday today. That didn't used to mean a lot to me. I didn't grow up reading his books, and I couldn't see what all the fuss was about. Then I became a mom. My kids cannot get enough suess in their lives. They love the lyrical rhythm his rhymes bring. They love that the alphabet comes to life, and magical worlds open up when we read together.

My brother gives the kids a new book for every birthday, Christmas and sometimes "just because". One of these "because" moments brought us one of the most beloved books I've ever known, "Oh The Places You'll Go". To say it's a children's book wouldn't be doing it justice at all. The first time I read it, I bawled all the way through. Because it's a commentary on life. Sometimes you're triumphant and play games with the whole wide world watching you win on tv, and sometimes you'll play lonely games too, games you can't win cause you'll play against you.

With every page there's a fresh perspective on a child's journey through life and it's true whether you're 2 or 102. I'm fairly certain, at my kid's graduation parties, I will probably read this book to them. So, I just wanted to say Thank You to Dr. Suess, a man who has brought me to tears, made me laugh, and given me hours and hours of bonding with my children.

"Be Who You are, and Say what you think. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter" -Dr. Suess